WatergateGate: Hookers, the Duke-Stir, and Your Guide to a Sex Scandal
We believe we've made perhaps passing reference to this before, but Saturday's Post piece on WatergateGate (seriously, we like that name, we don't care if you don't), deserves further study. In case you haven't been following the story: Contractor Mitchell Wade admits to getting hookers for Duke Cunningham "and possibly other lawmakers." At the Watergate. And we go nuts with excitement.
Because there has not been a decent sex scandal in town in some time. America is waiting, Washington. Do 'em proud.
What you need for a good sex scandal:
* High profile lawmaker. Duke Cunningham wouldn't have counted as particularly high-profile until after he became a symbol of corruption and crapulence. So good work on building up to this!
* On the record. It must be on the record. We could write right now about Senator Norm Coleman's sham marriage and various infidelities, but without someone to source it to beyond "someone we can't name," it's gonna be hard for it to take off.
* Laws should be broken.
* The promise of more to come! This is why the "possibly other lawmakers" is brilliant. It allows irresponsible speculation from everyone in town, which, in turn, can often lead to unrelated but better stories of sexcapades and more excuses to print the word "sexcapade."
* A hint of kink. Prostitutes is good. But hey, anyone else notice the lack of gender-specific pronouns? 'Cause we have. And we remember this. Quite well, in fact. Which is why we appeciated this segment of the Post piece:
The San Diego Union-Tribune yesterday cited a letter from Baker's lawyer, Bobby Stafford, saying that Baker "provided limousine services for Mr. Wilkes for whatever entertainment he had in the Watergate" from the company's founding in 1990 through the early 2000s. The letter also stated that Baker was "never in attendance in any party where any women were being used for prostitution purposes." Reached by telephone yesterday, Stafford would not comment on the letter.
Ahem. Lying or legalese? You make the call. But christ, prostitutes are enough of a gift from the scandal gods, to have them be possibly not female prostitutes is making our heads spin. It's gonna be a totally kick-ass summer after all, guys!
Duke's House of Cards [Washington Blade]
Earlier: Wonkette Coverage of Duke Cunningham