We stayed up all night Wednesday almost, just to wait for the final moment when Mike Pence stuck a dagger through his true father's heart (Trump, not Jesus) and made Joe Biden president on live TV. After that, we had to go to bed and sleep through our alarms because we were up all night MONITORING DEMOCRACY, OK? Had to see if Pence was gonna try any funny business.

Also every time MSNBC anchor Ali Velshi said to pour one more cup of coffee, this should all be over soon, we did, even though we knew better.

Anyway, when Joe Scarborough, who used to be a Republican and who used to be in Congress and who used to be a Trump supporter (we didn't forget), got to "Morning Joe" on Thursday morning, we mighta been asleep, but he sure wasn't. He was infuriated by his former GOP colleagues taking a shit on democracy, and he was even more mad about how Donald Trump ordered a terrorist attack on the US FUCKING CAPITOL, where he used to work.

If perchance you missed it, if you missed Joe Scarborough YELLING THE WORD "FUCKING" RIGHT THERE ON THE NEWS, you should really start this morning off right, by listening to it.

Here are some true things Joe Scarborough said:

"If these insurrectionists were Black, they would have been shot in the face!"


"And my God, if these insurrectionists were Muslim, they would have been sniped from the top of buildings!"


"So I want to know from the Capitol Hill police, what, what is it, is it just white people? Or is it Donald Trump supporters? Why do you scream at people for walking across the street three blocks away from the Capitol? Why are you not as BADASSES around the Capitol, but then Trump supporters come in, and you OPEN THE FUCKING DOORS FOR THEM. YOU OPEN THE DOORS FOR THEM, AND LET THEM BREACH THE PEOPLE'S HOUSE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Good question!

"I also want to know, are we a nation of laws? Are we a nation of one man? Donald J. Trump called for the insurrection against the United States of America! He called for it! Rudy Giuliani called for combat justice just an hour or two before this happened! Donald Trump Jr. said 'WE ARE COMING FOR YOU.'"

Yep, that's what happened. They're insurgent leaders, simple as that. Hell, we've been calling Trump's uncomfortable-looking sons Uday and Qusay forever, none of this was that surprising. We've been calling Trump supporters "Y'all Qaeda." We've been calling Trump "Stupid Hitler" literally forever. Were people under the impression those were jokes?

"That's insurrection against the United States of America, and if Donald Trump Jr., Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump are not arrested today for insurrection and taken to jail and booked, and if the Capitol Hill police do not go through every video and look at the face of every person that invaded our Capitol, and if they are not arrested and brought to justice today, then we are no longer a nation of laws. And we only tell people they can do this again."

Spoiler, they were not arrested yesterday. Something tells us their time is coming, though. Maybe sometime after January 20 around noon.

At least we sure do hope.

The time for healing is not anytime soon, President-elect Biden. We don't kum-ba-yah with terrorists. We bring them to justice.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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