We Are All Doug Jones's Son, Staring GAY DAGGERS Through Mike Pence's Dumb Skull
A nice story for your afternoon! Doug Jones (D-Alabama Yes For Real Alabama) was sworn in to the Senate on Wednesday, and he brought his son. His hot son. His hot gay son. His hot gay son whose name is Carson and whose Instagram Wonkette DOES NOT RECOMMEND YOU VISIT TO OBJECTIFY HIM, because YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT.
As per Senate protocol, Jones was sworn in by Mike Pence, gay hater extraordinaire. Remember when Donald Trump jokingly said Pence wants to see all the gays hanged? HA HA THAT WAS FUNNY. (Of course, we are not sure if the real truth of the matter is that Pence, deep in his secret dark heart, REALLY wants to see "hung gays" rather than "hanged gays," but that is just wild speculation, and Mother Pence would not approve.)
Carson Jones posted a picture that was captured during his dad's mock swearing-in on his Instagram:
Did you catch that?
Just so we are all clear, Carson Jones hashtagged the picture #WeMadeIt and #NoCaptionNeeded, because the caption was HIS GAY DAGGER EYES. His beautiful GAY DAGGER EYES.
Shut up, commenters, stop objectifying him by telepathically telling Wonkette to write things like that!
Anyway, we are very happy Doug Jones is in the Senate and we are very happy Carson Jones gave Mike Pence those devil eyes, as it takes a strong guy to look evil in the face like that and read it for filth without saying a word.
Yep, a really strong guy.
STOP. OBJECTIFYING. HIM. YOU. ASSHOLES.
Y'all need to sit right here and think about how your bad behavior in the comments of this, your OPEN THREAD.
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[Photo taken from Carson Jones's Instagram, originally taken by Alex Wong of Getty Images, and this post is literally about the picture, therefore FAIR USE]
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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