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A nice story for your afternoon! Doug Jones (D-Alabama Yes For Real Alabama) was sworn in to the Senate on Wednesday, and he brought his son. His hot son. His hot gay son. His hot gay son whose name is Carson and whose Instagram Wonkette DOES NOT RECOMMEND YOU VISIT TO OBJECTIFY HIM, because YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT.


Allegedly.

As per Senate protocol, Jones was sworn in by Mike Pence, gay hater extraordinaire. Remember when Donald Trump jokingly said Pence wants to see all the gays hanged? HA HA THAT WAS FUNNY. (Of course, we are not sure if the real truth of the matter is that Pence, deep in his secret dark heart, REALLY wants to see "hung gays" rather than "hanged gays," but that is just wild speculation, and Mother Pence would not approve.)

Carson Jones posted a picture that was captured during his dad's mock swearing-in on his Instagram:

Did you catch that?

Just so we are all clear, Carson Jones hashtagged the picture #WeMadeIt and #NoCaptionNeeded, because the caption was HIS GAY DAGGER EYES. His beautiful GAY DAGGER EYES.

Shut up, commenters, stop objectifying him by telepathically telling Wonkette to write things like that!

Anyway, we are very happy Doug Jones is in the Senate and we are very happy Carson Jones gave Mike Pence those devil eyes, as it takes a strong guy to look evil in the face like that and read it for filth without saying a word.

Yep, a really strong guy.

STOP. OBJECTIFYING. HIM. YOU. ASSHOLES.

Y'all need to sit right here and think about how your bad behavior in the comments of this, your OPEN THREAD.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Photo taken from Carson Jones's Instagram, originally taken by Alex Wong of Getty Images, and this post is literally about the picture, therefore FAIR USE]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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[Washington Post]

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