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A couple weeks ago, we left Montana to head to DC for the #teens' March For Our Lives (we drive slow). We stopped by to see our girlfriend on the way out of town, and her friendly, not-stupid, but very racist trucker boyfriend was so happy for us! "Whatcha doing in New York?" he wanted to know. He was so excited! "No, we're going to DC," I told him, delightedly. "We're going to take your guns!"


You're not! he said. We are! we crowed. Gonna fucking take em all!

We argued good-naturedly for a minute or two -- he was appalled, but he wasn't angry. He just cited some talk radio boilerplate before I explained he didn't need 40 bullets to hunt a deer, and he didn't need 40 bullets to protect himself, and 40 bullets have just one purpose and it's 40 dead children. "But did you hear about the illegal who was driving drunk and killed a trucker and then hit and ran?" he explained.

And that's how I learned what the talk radio topic of the week was so's they could talk about anything besides Parkland.

Well, we've made it 2500 miles, and we are in DC to TAKE YOUR GUNS AND BUY YOU PIZZA. We won't be kissing you on your faces, though, because the baby's sick and our cough is getting deeper. If we got you sick on the way here, my personal apology to you and yours.

Please join us TONIGHT (Friday), 6 to 8 p.m. at Pi Pizzeria, 910 F St., NW. We had to promise a minimum of $500 in pizza and beer to get 'em to reserve a space for us, so you fuckers better show up to eat and drink it!

Tomorrow, we'll meet outside Rosa Mexicano, 575 Seventh St. NW, across the street from the Gallery Place Chinatown Metro Station, so's we can march together! We'll be there between 10:30 and 12:15, because it's gonna take a LONG time to get out of the subway station, judging by last time, and we'll all probably be late to our own meetup.

If you joined us in Fargo, St. Paul, Chicago, Madison, Pittsburgh, Philly or Brooklyn -- pictures of Brooklyn below! -- it was FUCKIN' GREAT TO SEE YOU. If you sent us money to make this trip, it was FUCKIN' GREAT TO SPEND IT.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for making this possible, and don't forget to KEEP making it possible -- along with the horrible news we keep you in all day every day, and also that whole "keeping you sane." We love you very much. BRB, TAKING YOUR FUCKING GUNS.

Love,

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Editrix and Fuckin' Gun Taker

Did you make it all the way down here? Then you may OPEN THREAD!

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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On Saturday, Glenn Greenwald saw a story in the New York Times about how the US is mucking around in Russia's power grid in a show of power:

In interviews over the past three months, [current and former US] officials described the previously unreported deployment of American computer code inside Russia's grid and other targets as a classified companion to more publicly discussed action directed at Moscow's disinformation and hacking units around the 2018 midterm elections.

So Glenn Greenwald, being a total Glenn Greenwald, used that moment to defend his president, Donald J. Trump, because OMG it is just crazy that the liberals and the Deep State and the Rachel Maddow think Trump is some kind of puppet of Vladimir Putin, just because he constantly acts like a puppet of Vladimir Putin.

HAW HAW, LIBS OWNED! Isn't Donald Trump always saying nobody's tougher on Russia than he is? Glenn Greenwald agrees that nobody is tougher on Russia than Donald Trump, because Donald Trump says so.

As Aaron Rupar from Vox points out, this tweet from Donald Trump arrived just about eight hours later ...

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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