June 29, 2006 01:18 PM
We Control Not Only the MSM, but Also the Grandiose Delusions of the Cabinet
Last month, on Wonkette:
LAURA BLUMENFELD YOU ARE OUR NEW FAVORITE WRITER. [...] Will you please make your next piece an epic high-seas romance with international intrigue, swashbuckling, and daring-do, starring Joe Biden and a giant lizard?
Today, in Laura Blumenfeld's "Off Camera" Column:
"I imagine I'm a pirate," [Norman Mineta] said. "Of the Caribbean."
Exciting conclusion, after the jump!
The departing Transportation Secretary's rich fantasy world is great column fodder.
The motor roared over his words. Deni, in the stern, couldn't hear what he was saying. Norm stood at the helm, his expression elder statesman, his black hair dignified by a streak of white. "Get one of the orange life vests out for me," Norm called to Deni. The big ships coming up the bay were daunting; he doesn't know how to swim.
"Those are the treasure ships," he said, with a straight face. Those were the boats that Norm would plunder. He'd been a respected Democratic congressman for 20 years, secretary of commerce under President Bill Clinton, and immortalized by the Norman Y. Mineta San Jose International Airport. But on his own little boat, inside his imagination, Norm wore an eye patch, a black pirate hat and a hook hand.
"As the captain of the ship, I'd be directing my crew," Norm said quietly. "I'd have cannons, depending on how large the target I'm after. I always like to think my boat is more powerful, at least 160 feet -- a multi-masted 200-footer."
And also, he'd be missing a tooth or two.
Norm Mineta's grip on reality: tenuous. Probably still better than Rumsfeld's, though.
Also, Blumenfeld, you're making these up, right?
Norman Mineta: Shipping Out [WP]
Earlier:BILL FRIST -- Senator by Day, Miracle-Worker by Slightly Earlier in the Day