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Serious policy discussion from today's GOP


Dear Wingnuts,

Oh, sorry, was that rude? How about Shameless Grifters? Unethical Conmen? Leeches? Or as you put it, "conservatives."

Last week we were subjected to one million stories about poor Kevin Williamson having his vocal cords severed by a mob of crazed feminists bent on silencing a man who merely advocated hoisting a quarter of America's women from the gallows. And the past two days gave us four stories about poor, oppressed conservatives and their sad lot in an America where you control the White House, both Houses of Congress, 31 state legislatures and 33 governorships. Truly, these are dark days for your kind!

John Hawkins, the founder of Right Wing News, told NPR that conservatives feel disrespected and under siege by the wider culture.

"He turns on a TV show where he's insulted, and then he's like, 'well, maybe I'll just unwind and watch an awards show' — the Oscars or something — where he gets trashed all day long," Hawkins said. "He goes to Twitter and he's got some you know guy calling him an a-hole ... this is sort of like a pervasive all-out attack if you're a conservative. And it's all the time sort of thing."

Republicans are led by Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Dana Loesch, and Rush Limbaugh, but it's liberals who are being mean to you? The very people who spent decades demonizing Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, people who call liberalism a mental disorder, who accuse us of treason, you all have hurt feelings because the cool kids don't want to sit at your table?

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.

Remember when Republicans stood for small government, competence, and minding your own damn business? Now it's #LiberalTears.

You're right, I DO DISRESPECT YOU. But not because I'm on The Blue Team and you're on The Red Team. I look down on you because your ideas are TERRIBLE. I don't want #ConservativeTears. I want you to stop being selfish assholes who think that your right to carry an assault rifle, freeload off the nation's healthcare infrastructure, and teach your kids that the Sky God opposes premarital sex is more important than our collective safety, health and education.

You could have stayed the party of John McCain. You chose to be the party of Sarah Palin. You chose race baiting and gay bashing. You didn't want to pay for schools, so you demonized teachers. You didn't want to pay for healthcare, so you pretended being able to go to the doctor was an assault on liberty. You didn't want to piss off the fossil fuel companies, so you invented an evil cabal of scientists perpetuating a global warming hoax. And you didn't want to be subjected to a real debate, so you got Fox and Sinclair to flood the plain with invective and lies.

And you were so good at it! You actually convinced people that they could have $25 VCRs and a viable American manufacturing sector. That we could buy strawberries for two dollars a pound that were picked by American citizens. That raising the minimum wage would actually make people poorer.

Only you overshot and wound up with Trump. And he is burning your house to the ground.

So, I can't work up any sympathy for those Never Trumpers who got fired from Redstate.com yesterday. You missed your stop and wound up in Trumpland? Too goddamn bad! You hopped on the Hillary Haters Express Bus, and there is no transfer off this line.

Sorry, I am fresh out of fucks to give for people who pushed bullshit about immigrants being dangerous criminals. You think the epidemic of campus sexual assault is PC culture run amok? You don't need my sympathy -- go apply for wingut welfare.

Same goes for you, Milo!

But highest on the list of people who deserve no sympathy whatsoever are the people who get booted off Trump Island and can't find another job. The NYT reported Friday,

Proximity to Mr. Trump has been a crushing experience for many who arrived with stellar careers and independent reputations yet ended up losing so much. Rex W. Tillerson ran the world’s largest energy company. David Shulkin was a respected doctor and a “high priest” of the medical world. Lt. Gen. H. R. McMaster was an admired warrior. So was John F. Kelly. Jeff Sessions held a safe seat in Congress. So did Tom Price. Now all of them are known for unhappy associations with Mr. Trump.

BOO. FUCKING. HOO.

There isn't a person in that building who doesn't know their standard-bearer is an ignorant narcissist. You signed up to mudwrestle with a face-eating leopard, and now you want pity because there's dirt on your shoes and a chunk of your face is gone? Cry me a river. You deserve to wear that shame for the rest of your career. AND YOU WILL.

As will the entire Republican party, which was willing to sacrifice every principle and its last shred of decency because they wanted to win. Trump is your monster, and he will devour you.

And when he has, Democrats won't have time for schadenfreude. We'll be too busy picking up the pieces and trying to right this ship. Because we're not out to hurt you. It's not about #ConservativeTears, or kicking the other guy until he cries. It's about making a government that actually helps people. And come November, that's exactly what we'll do.

So, Wonkers, what are you going to do between now and November to kick these assholes to the curb? The Blue Wave is coming if you want it enough! It's up to us.

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please click here to fund us! We'll be here to light that fire under you every step of the way!

[NPR / NYT / Daily Beast]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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