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We Finally Get Around to Bush Being So Gosh Darn Healthy

Times are clearly slow at the Democratic National Committee. (As they are here, granted) First, we hear that Dean's taking time off from his busy schedule of making steam come out of his ears to kick off a marriage, came this press release, which contains what we think may be the surest sign of Democrat desperation since Hillary:


BUSH IN SUPERIOR HEALTH, BUT AMERICA'S YOUTH NOT
Hey, that was easy. And now that they've discovered this trope, there's really no end to where they can take it:

BUSH RICH, BUT AMERICA'S POOR NOT

BUSH GETTING LAID, BUT AMERICA'S NERDS NOT

BUSH FREE OF TICKS AND FLEAS, BUT AMERICA'S DOGS NOT

BUSH ALIVE, BUT AMERICA'S DEAD NOT

This isn't to say that there's not a good point to be made about the President's bizarrely stringent exercise regime, namely, that a normal human can't do it. Having a president in this great a shape would be really great if, you know, we decided global policy issues via arm wrestling.

DNC: Bush Should Stop Playing Games with Physical Fitness [US Newswire]

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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