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Well who is that pretty lady up there? It is I, your editrix, here to sell you another Thing. You need this one though, as it will keep sun off your face and snow off your bald spot and will announce to the world that YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GODDAMN FIGHT.

Some dick wanna beat up on Muslims around you, or our friends of color, or women? Maybe he should think twice, because you will KEEP AMERICA GREAT ALL OVER HIS ASS.

It is even better than a $1000, diamond-encrusted safety pin, especially since it's only $19.99!

HAPPY WARRIOR

So let's all say fuck Donald Trump and his mean idiot children and his white supremacist advisors and his lunatic Christianists in charge of the schools and his dudes who literally foreclosed on 90-year-old ladies over twenty-seven missing cents, with our simple yet stylish American chapeaux!

There's three million more of us, and we're not slinking away.

NOT HAVIN' IT.

Plus, you know, free shipping. That too.

[WonketteBazaar]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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