While we never forget (TM) 9/11, somehow we forgot Dick Cheney's birthday yesterday. That's like remembering Easter but forgetting Christmas, or something. Anyway, everybody feels really bad about this. Would a whimsical online e-card of an elephant kicking another, farting elephant cheer up the world's greatest U.S. vice president ever? We sure hope so. January 30 is a day that lives in infamy, because of Our Dark Lord's birth and these other fun & semi-related historical milestones:

* First brawl on the House floor, 1798.

* Jackhammer patented, 1894.

* Mahatma Gandi Gandalf murdered, 1948.

* "The women's singles U.S. figure skating championship was won by Carol Heiss," 1960.

* Beatles final live performance broken up by the cops, 1969.

* Phil Collins born, 1951.

* Michael Bolton hits No. 1, 1990.

* Oliver Cromwell executed after being dead for two years, 1661.

* Adolf Hitler sworn in as Chancellor of Germany, 1933.

* 7.000 Jews murdered by Nazis in Letychiv, Ukraine, 1943.

* Tet Offensive begins, 1968.

* Northern Ireland's Bloody Sunday: 14 civil rights protesters murdered by British paratroopers, 1972.