We Must Discuss This Bonkers 7 Point Plan To Re-Install Trump Going Around CPAC

Conspiracy theories

As has been widely publicized, there was a flyer going around CPAC this weekend, detailing a ridiculous seven-point-plan for reinstalling Donald Trump as president, which involved Nancy Pelosi melting like the Wicked Witch of the West and then a "trusted conservative" replacing her as Speaker of the House, then having said "trusted conservative" prove that the election was stolen, then install Trump as Speaker of the House, impeach Biden and Harris and BOOM! Trump is president again.

The flyer appears to have been written entirely by one Robert J. Antonellis, who describes himself as an "investigative researcher and engineer" and reads:

7-PT. PLAN TO RESTORE DONALD J. TRUMP IN DAYS, NOT YEARS:

1. Reveal ACHILLES' HEEL: Pull back the curtain on the horror show that is today's "Democrat Party". Watch Pelosi melt, like the Wicked Witch of the West. See the Black Caucus and other key groups flip, unexpectedly, and watch the tables turn.
2. Witness a trusted Conservative elected as Speaker of the House and, FINALLY, reveal suppressed results of existing investigations into election racketeering.
3. Correct the official record. Reveal that Trump legitimately won the 2020 Election.
4. The Speaker of the House drafts Articles of Impeachment for Biden-Harris.
5. Citizen Donald J. Trump is placed into the line of Presidential succession, behind the Vice President, by electing him Speaker of the House.
6. Speaker of the House Donald J. Trump then calls for a vote to impeach, charge, and remove impostors, Biden and Harris.
7. Duly impeach, charge and remove Biden and Harris, whereby rendering all acts of said impostors, while in office, null and void and of no effect! Then, duly elected Donald J. Trump resumes his rightful place as U.S. President.

It's no more or less ridiculous than any of the other plans to reinstall Trump as Dictator for Life ... until you go to the website listed on the bottom of the flyer, TrumpCard.PatriotsSoar.com and see what it is that they think is going to make Pelosi melt and the Black Caucus turn Republican. Because, oh boy, it is really something. And yes, it involves Satan and Satanic Ritual Sacrifices, because of course the fuck it does.


The plan hinges on Antonellis' theory that the "Democrat" party was built on the occult sacrifices of Martin Luther King, Jr, JFK Jr. (of fucking course) and ... Mary Jo Kopechne, whom the flyer claims represents the Virgin Mary. The plan, apparently, is to ask Nancy Pelosi about this theory and then ... I guess she's supposed to melt or something?

These are the questions. They are very normal questions.

- Nancy, will you please order investigations into these three related Occult sacrifices?
- No?! Nancy, are you Anti-Catholic? A racist? Anti-Kennedy? Or, all of the above?!
- Nancy, do you have any information about the numerous coincidences which connect Joe Biden, MaryJo Kopechne, Bethlehem and Nazareth, Pennsylvania?
- Nancy, is Joe Biden scripted as the anti-Christ?

THEN, he will ask her about her relationship with Jim Jones! And she'll be so freaked out because of how she definitely personally did Jonestown

- Nancy, what was your relationship with Jim Jones? And when did it begin?
- Nancy, have you ever apologized to African Americans for having had any association with Jim Jones and the Jonestown Massacre of over 600 African American women and their children?
- Nancy, did you create Jim Jones? Or did Jim Jones create you?!

Then, he's going to ask her if more stuff he made up is true! And also about her opinions on Charles Manson. I'm guessing we are to assume that Nancy Pelosi loves Charles Manson, here?

- Nancy, are you surprised to learn that BLM was the rebirth of the BLA? The Black Liberation Army, a support group of the Weather Underground?

- Nancy, do you think Charles Manson was a good American?

And if she can't answer them by the morning, she will be beheaded. Wait, no, that is the plot of Turandot.

ANYWAY, because I am a masochist, I watched one of the videos linked to in the PDF, and boy does it ever contain some batshit ideas. I made a list!

  • The Democratic Party arranged the death of Mary Jo Kopechne in Ted Kennedy's car, because she was a "Catholic heterosexual virgin" named MARY.
  • Ted Kennedy maybe wasn't driving the car in Chapaquiddick that night — it could have been the CIA! And Kennedy was forced, for reasons (of Satan) to make it look like he did it.
  • Mary-Jo Kopechne's initials were MJK, Martin Luther King's initials were MLK ... and there was an L on Ted Kennedy's license plate, just like the one beginning Martin Luther King's middle name, and also the car was black. Like Martin Luther King. And these coincidence are just too strong to ignore.
  • The car was a Delmont, which is a slang term for "male sodomy" (does not appear to be a thing, but I could be wrong).
  • The license plate number was L78–207, and two 8s mean "Heil Hitler" ... and also that comes before 0 so H20, and that means water, which was related to Mary-Jo Kopechne being sacrificed in water, under the astrological sign of Cancer ... which makes Ted Kennedy the Zodiac Killer. Even though, according to this guy, it was a CIA guy what killed her.
  • Martin Luther King was assassinated on April 4 ... and Mary-Ko Kopechne grew up in Wilkes-Barre, which is nicknamed Forty Fort (nope that's just another place in Pennsylvania) and it was named as such because it was 44 miles from the Sugarloaf massacre (again, no) ... which took place ... ON SEPTEMBER 11, 1780. Get it? Because September 11? Yeah. That's here too.

How is Joe Biden involved in this? SACRED GEOMETRY.

Right, okay, continuing with this list.

  • The freemasons made the top of Delaware a half circle, and Joe Biden lived in that circle ... area.
  • DELAWARE LOOKS LIKE A GIANT PENIS AND THAT IS EVIDENCE OF A THING.
  • Also maybe the top of Delaware is the Satanic arch of Baal? Or the Grim Reaper's hook?
  • Maybe Joe Biden is the actual Grim Reaper?
  • Are Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff Satanic-Americans?
  • Is Cancel Culture Satanists shaming good people for being good Americans?
  • Boston is shaped like a hammer and sickle! Therefore, communism. Or maybe it is also a dick, the guy is not sure. One of those two things.
  • You know who lives in Boston? Henry Louis Gates.
  • The British still control America. Through all the Satanists.

And now we're back to Chappaquiddick!

  • Chappaquiddick actually comes from British slang. Chap-pa-quid-dick. Man-father-dollar-penis. A place for men to buy sex from other men, possibly in some kind of incestuous manner. And that is why the Satanists chose to do their sacrifice there.
  • There is a Nazareth, Pennsylvania and a Bethlehem, Pennsylvania ... and that is why they chose Mary-Jo Kopechne to sacrifice. And both of those towns are in between Scranton, where Joe Biden was born, and Greenville, Delaware, where he later lived.
  • Probably someone from Joe Biden's freemason lodge found Mary-Jo and asked her to be a stand-in for the Virgin Mary and then somehow this led to Joe Biden being President now, but not any of the other times that he ran. I guess.

THE END.

And that's just the short 15 minute one. There are others, which I have not seen yet. I guess the longer one is the one where they get into Nancy Pelosi's time in the Manson Family. And yes, I'm going to watch that, if only because I would love to know which other areas of the country are shaped like a dick.

In fact, I'm going to go do it now, so you can all have your OPEN THREAD. Hooray!

[Patriots Soar]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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