'We Never Really Existed Together'

Having driven poor old curmudgeon Jack Cafferty to the brink of insanity, CNN dimwit Kyra Phillips has now been shuffled to some other timeslot with another guy, Don Lemon. He makes a brief, brave effort to mention an actual news story, but just 20 seconds later, the new guy has followed Kyra's lead into the special world of crazy people talking about nothing.

Cringeworthy transcription fun, after the jump.

KYRA PHILLIPS, CO-ANCHOR: Hello, everyone. I'm Kyra Phillips in the CNN NEWSROOM from CNN's world headquarters in Atlanta.

DON LEMON, CO-ANCHOR: I'm Don Lemon. Thanks for joining us. Has the Iraq war made Americans less safe? A leaked classified report reveals intel that Democrats are pouncing on and the White House is downplaying.

PHILLIPS: Andre Agassi, the tennis superstar, joins us live. We're talking greatest moments. His inspirational father, how his wife beats him at tennis and what he's doing now.

LEMON: And rebirth in New Orleans. The Superdome, it was Katrina's devastating symbol of what went wrong. But tonight what's right? The Saints march home, and the stars come out to celebrate. You're with us live in the CNN NEWSROOM.

PHILLIPS: Unless you read the Internet and the blogs, we never really existed together. Here we are.

LEMON: This guy was imagined. When is he going to show up? When is he coming to work? I'm here.

PHILLIPS: Great to have you. I can't wait.

LEMON: It's great to be here.

PHILLIPS: It's been wonderful getting to know you. We're going to have a lot of fun.

LEMON: Yes, I watch you all the time. I'm excited to work with such a great professional.

PHILLIPS: The feeling is mutual. Shall we go?

LEMON: Let's get going.

PHILLIPS: All right. Here we go, Don and Kyra, starting off.


The craziest part? CNN PR sends this stuff to the media, on purpose.

CNN Newsroom


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