We Really Don’t Care About Melania Trump’s Coronavirus PSAs. Do You?
Melania Trump, who we hear is the first lady, is stepping up to help during the coronavirus crisis. The White House announced Wednesday that Trump will appear in public service announcements that'll detail "important ways Americans can protect themselves and those most at risk" from contracting and spreading the coronavirus. The PSAs will also feature Surgeon General Jerome Adams, Dr. Anthony Fauci, and Dr. Deborah Birx. They won't be filmed in front of a live audience of schoolchildren, so there's no chance the first lady will get booed.
The PSAs will appear digitally and on all the major broadcast networks, which soon won't have any original programming. Instead of “Ellen" or "Saturday Night Live," you can enjoy "Chillin' with Melania." It's neither entertaining nor informative!
Just a couple weeks ago, Trump was blithely tweeting photos of herself in a designer hardhat looking at plans for a neoclassical tennis pavilion at the White House. Now she's put on her designer surgical mask, but shockingly people aren't taking her seriously -- probably because she says stupid things on Twitter.
Try to understand, Mrs. Trump that if you're working from home, you're still “working." There's not much time for journaling or building tennis pavilions. Schools are also closed in many states, so if you're a parent, you're also trying to keep your kids, who are confined to the house, from going feral. It's The Shining, not a staycation.
Chrissy Teigen read the first lady for filth Tuesday. It was glorious. She went full David Mamet on Melanie's sorry ass.
Trump's #BeBest initiative is a bunch of shit, but now's as good a time as any to lean into it. She's had to cancel next month's Easter Egg Roll and a state dinner with the King and Queen of Spain, which is on lockdown. If her husband is a self-styled “wartime president," that means she's a “wartime first lady" like Eleanor Roosevelt, who famously never played tennis. This is serious. She'll need a designer combat helmet. (And probably stiletto galoshes for some reason.)
Conservative NeverTrumper Rick Wilson got in some hot water Wednesday when he tweeted “#BeInfected" in response to a CNN article about Trump's PSAs. This was obviously a dig at the first lady's useless #BeBest nonsense. Republicans and loyal Trump sycophants interpreted this instead as Wilson casting a voodoo spell over social media with hashtag magic. If Wilson was demented enough to want to see Trump contract the coronavirus, he doesn't need to “wish" it into existence. Their personal residence, Mar-a-Lago, is a coronavirus hot zone. The president won't stop shaking people's hands. When he holds press briefings about the coronavirus, he is surrounded by staff and advisers who are not six feet away from him. This includes Vice President Mike Pence. (It's still unclear why the president and vice president aren't in separate buildings for the duration of this pandemic.)
Anyway, if the first lady hasn't caught the coronavirus from her stupid husband, then whatever verbal sticks and stones Wilson slings on Twitter won't harm her. Arizona GOP Rep. Paul Gosar still demanded that Wilson delete his Melanie-bashing tweet because “Americans are dying" (not just Americans, by the way). Meanwhile, Gosar hasn't deleted his own stupid tweet where he laments that he might die from an icky flu and not on a battlefield.
This is hardly a Rick Wilson fan site, so it's more than a little fun to see conservatives beating up on each other. It's probably for the #BeBest.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).