Whatever, nobody even cares.
Here's your fucking top 10, I'm not feeling well, I've worked 70 hours this week, NOBODY EVER OFFERS TO HELP, I'm fucking done, read your goddamn stories.
Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Has Gone Fishin', By Which We Mean Our Kids Went Fishing, This Work Never Ends
You come read your top 10 stories right now!
Everybody holding up? Anybody need anything? We've still got a few clams left in the can, if you need a thing and want to email rebecca at wonkette dot com for help! Don't be shy!
In the meantime, while you're psyching yourself up to ask for some social welfare like a common European, please to enjoy the top 10 Wonkette stories of the week, as chosen by the Founding Fathers. Those guys just stick their noses in EVERYTHING!
It is the first one, duh obvs.
Hello! Welcome to Saturday if you did not know it was Saturday, and why would you? We hope you're keeping safe, and as always, if you need a hand, email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com, and let us know what we can do for you. That includes cash money, if you need it! Or if you need an ear, like our Wonk pal whose husband, a contractor, could not get home from the Middle East and then this week HE GOT HOME FROM THE MIDDLE EAST!!!1! oh where was this sentence going, RIGHT, if you need an ear, I GOT TWO OF EM.
Oh, she wrote such a beautiful letter, keening with hope and grief, and NOW SHE IS BETTER! How happy I am!
Now, as we do around these parts on Saturdays (really I am typing on Friday night, and if it is Saturday, which it is, I am off for the day except for bookkeeping and thank you notes, and just Robyn is in charge and mining away in the wonk mines for terrible stories to delight and outrage you), we count down the TOP 10 WONKETTE STORIES OF THE WEEK! We do this so you will have something to comment near, actually. Did you know in the Before Days Wonkette didn't exist on weekends? That is a true thing I just remembered.
You come read your top 10 stories of the week right now!
Welcome, big jerkers, to Wonkette's traditional Saturday morning countdown of our top stories of the week, chosen, this week, by some Draculas. (You know I didn't do the choosing because if I did, it would be all my stories, always, and the same goes for the rest of the staff. The fucking ego on them (Evan, really, not the rest of them, you know how he is).