Welcome to Melania Trump's Terrifying German Expressionist Christmas Tree Corridor Of Horror!
String up the lights and light up the tree / We're damned for all eternity
But for just one day, all is well / It's Christmas time in Hell!
Melania Trump's Director of Communication Stephanie Grisham had a special holiday message for all of us on the Twitters yesterday, festively tweeting out this photo of the White House Christmas Tree at the end of a corridor of what appear to be leftover props from a horror film. The stark black-and-white of the hallway with the gnarled trees is less "winter wonderland" than Silent Night, Deadly Night, and Grisham's tweet not only used the dreaded word "holidays" instead of "Christmas," she also doesn't seem to know that the acronym for her boss's title is capitalized:
You've seen the thing, so we've cropped the image -- to reduce your trauma
The parodies weren't far behind:
“O Fortuna” seems a better soundtrack to the White House Christmas video... pic.twitter.com/0I4XlaDRUv— ElElegante101 (@skolanach) November 27, 2017
Politico offered a more traditional spread of photos of Melania doing traditional First Lady things, like greeting smiling children, writing Christmas cards, and playing dreidel with a human head, but people went and did mean things with that, too:
In any case, it's nice to see the Trumps have brought a sense of style, dignity, and class to this festive season, instead of that guy who used to wander the halls looking for opportunities to burn the Constitution:
All in all, it was a perfectly lovely, Holly Jolly Pan's Labyrinth, and we can hardly wait for other new Trumpian Christmas traditions, like maybe David Lynch's The Eraserhead Elf on the Shelf, or the The Advent Calendar of Dr. Caligari.
Watch out for the Krampus, kids, and now it is your OPEN THREAD!
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.