Donate

String up the lights and light up the tree / We're damned for all eternity
But for just one day, all is well / It's Christmas time in Hell!


Melania Trump's Director of Communication Stephanie Grisham had a special holiday message for all of us on the Twitters yesterday, festively tweeting out this photo of the White House Christmas Tree at the end of a corridor of what appear to be leftover props from a horror film. The stark black-and-white of the hallway with the gnarled trees is less "winter wonderland" than Silent Night, Deadly Night, and Grisham's tweet not only used the dreaded word "holidays" instead of "Christmas," she also doesn't seem to know that the acronym for her boss's title is capitalized:

You've seen the thing, so we've cropped the image -- to reduce your trauma

The parodies weren't far behind:

.

Politico offered a more traditional spread of photos of Melania doing traditional First Lady things, like greeting smiling children, writing Christmas cards, and playing dreidel with a human head, but people went and did mean things with that, too:

In any case, it's nice to see the Trumps have brought a sense of style, dignity, and class to this festive season, instead of that guy who used to wander the halls looking for opportunities to burn the Constitution:

All in all, it was a perfectly lovely, Holly Jolly Pan's Labyrinth, and we can hardly wait for other new Trumpian Christmas traditions, like maybe David Lynch's The Eraserhead Elf on the Shelf, or the The Advent Calendar of Dr. Caligari.

Watch out for the Krampus, kids, and now it is your OPEN THREAD!

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money, and beware the ICE PENIS.

[Stephanie Grisham on Twitter / Politico]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC

Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug ... He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks: dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

Yr Wonkette is no stranger to the double-edged weapon of sarcasm, we'll admit. OR WILL WE? It's part of our postmodern toolkit, with which we seek to undermine patriotism, faith, the free market, the family, and ultimately America itself. Duh. But we would never be so naive as to think we have a monopoly on irony and sarcasm, oh no, far from it. This week, we dip into the sludge of deletia for some brilliant examples of cutting rightwing wit turned back on us, with devastating results. Hope you're not all TRIGGERED so much you have to go find a SAFE SPACE, libs!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc