Welp, We Got Another Megachurch Guy Claiming COVID Vaccine Is Mark Of The Beast
Since the beginning of the pandemic, conspiracy theorists everywhere have been speculating that the whole thing has just been a ruse to get us all to take a vaccine with the Mark of the Beast in it. Now that the vaccine is close to arriving, that sort of speculation is in full swing.
This week, Florida megachurch Pastor Guillermo Maldonado encouraged church members not to take the vaccine on account of it either being the Mark of the Beast or like a kind of pre-Mark of the Beast test to see how many people would go along with getting the Mark of the Beast in the event that the Antichrist arrived and wanted to get that done.
"People, I want you to look at me," Maldonado said, as he frequently switched between speaking English and Spanish. "That is exactly what is happening with COVID-19. They're preparing the structure for the Antichrist. How? The vaccine. They're gonna demand for you to have the vaccine in your passport, otherwise you will not be able to travel. Because they are preparing the way."
"The vaccines, they are made to alter your DNA," he continued. "They are made to track you down. Do not [take] the vaccine. Believe in the blood of Jesus. Believe in divine immunity."
Now, I am no Bible expert. Practically everything I know about Christianity I learned from Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals. But it simply does not make sense to me that the "Mark of the Beast" would be a thing someone could slip into a vaccine like a roofie. Like, it seems like it would only make sense as a "thing" if people were like "Oh? The Mark of the Beast? Why thank you!" Otherwise, what would the point of it even be? What would the end game be?
Step 1: Create a virus that kills lots and lots of people
Step 2: Make a vaccine for the virus containing the Mark of the Beast
Step 3: Profit? (Like, not from the vaccine, but from people taking the Mark of the Beast)
Also! Let's just say I were on Team Trick Everyone Into Getting The Mark of the Beast For No Real Concrete Reason, okay? The absolute last thing I would slip it into would be a vaccine. It's too expected, too obvious. People are already super weird about vaccines, particularly the exact kind of people for whom accidentally accepting the Mark of the Beast would be a major concern. Of course they're going to suspect that the Mark of the Beast is in one. I'd put it in something no one would suspect. Like, I don't know ... a Snapple? Probably no one would expect the Mark of the Beast to be inside a Snapple.
Also isn't the Antichrist supposed to be in charge of Mark of the Beast distribution? Who is it that they think the Antichrist is? Do they think it's Bill Gates? Because honestly I don't feel like Bill Gates is popular and beloved enough to be the Antichrist. I would personally expect the Antichrist to have a bit more pizzazz. Also we know who his mom was so it is unlikely that he was born of a jackal. Maldonado here seems to think that people will be slipped the Mark of the Beast mickey in order to pave the way for the Antichrist, but then what is the Antichrist's job?
Obviously I don't believe in any of this, but I wonder if those who do have really thought through it enough — because I don't think they have!
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse