Joe Manchin is West Virginia's governor. That's right, they've got a governor! And here we all thought West Virginia was just a welfare district of the Senate, because literally the only income ever generated in the state's history was from Robert Byrd and, to a lesser extent in the 1920s, moonshine sales. But look at this fancied-up hillbilly with his gun and the Deliverance music! This is the new face of Democrats.

We actually don't know anything about Joe Manchin because who cares, but he is apparently a very popular governor with those West Virginians who recently got telephones so they can answer pollster questions. (Robert Byrd bought these telephones.) And now Manchin is going to get the government off West Virginia's back, so it can return to its natural condition -- which is not to say "environmental nature," because he will shoot the fuck out of that, with his manly rifle.

TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, though, because he's three points ahead of his Republican opponent, and you all know how much desperately poor people on government aid tend to love the Republican candidates for anything in this Nation of Morans. [YouTube via WV tipster "Dana R.," who should not be embarrassed because your editor's paternal family is all from West Virginia and look how good he turned out!)