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WH Pool Report: Down, Boy

In this White House pool report, Thankless Task Thank You Award for Best Pool Reports nominee Ken Herman proves you don't have to play a retarded person to catch the academy's attention:


The presidential dogs were on hand. One seemed to have the president's attention as he was asked questions by the pool. Here is transcript of that exchange:

Q: "What do you think of the initial reaction to your Social Security plan?"

POTUS: "C'mon Beaz."

Q: "How much should gas be since you are calling for it to be affordable and you want it to come down?"

POTUS: "C'mon Beaz."

On a related note: Acting retarded does help if you're President.

Full report after the jump.

From: XXXXXXXXXXXX@lists.whitehouse.gov

Sent: Fri Apr 29 13:36:15 2005

Subject: POOL REPORT #2, 4/29/05

Pool report 2

April 29, 2005

President Bush - he of the penchant for clearing cedar trees on his ranch - participated in ceremonial Arbor Day tree-planting on White House north lawn. He was accompanied by Ag Secretary Mike Johanns and Marshal Case, president and CEO of American Chestnut Foundation.

You have background info from White House. Transcript of presidential's brief remarks to come, including his assertion that Secretary Johanns is "a man known for shoveling a lot of things."

Bush and Johanns each tossed three shovels of dirt around the tree. The job was completed by professional shovel-wielders after the ceremonial shovelers returned to their governmental duties. The president made a straining noise - something like "aaaah" - on one of his dirt tosses.

The presidential dogs were on hand. One seemed to have the president's attention as he was asked questions by the pool. Here is transcript of that exchange:

Q: "What do you think of the initial reaction to your Social Security plan?"

POTUS: "C'mon Beaz."

Q: "How much should gas be since you are calling for it to be affordable and you want it to come down?"

POTUS: "C'mon Beaz."

After straggling and enjoying the pile of dirt left behind, "Beaz" eventually heeded and headed back to White House with the president.

Ken Herman

Cox Newspapers

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What did we say this morning? Something about how "They want a war with Iran," and "Please do not listen to news reports about Trump telling his people to cool their jets with the Iran talk, because they want a war with Iran, and all they are looking for is their trigger"?

News came out early this morning that Iran shot down a US drone in the Strait of Hormuz, outside Iranian waters. Let's see what our president and his war-bonering GOP shitmouths in Congress have had to say about that:

Great. Just great. So what's happening now?

Awesome. Just splendid. Trump is having a cuddle party today with John Bolton (who's had a hard-on to bomb Iran since the Bush administration); Mike Pompeo (who's been making the rounds lying and saying Iran and al Qaeda are best friends, thus implying that it's very legal and very cool for Trump to strike Iran without congressional authorization, based on the Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) Congress voted for five days after 9/11); and Patrick Shanahan, the outgoing acting Defense secretary, who will make way for another acting Defense secretary, because who needs real Defense secretaries? (The new guy, Mark Esper, is part of the meeting too.) And as Senator Schatz points out above, Trump is emotionally unstable and doesn't know dick about foreign policy, so it's just great that he's having an emergency meeting with these unhinged hawks about this right now.

Tell us what this all means, unhinged hawk Lindsey Graham!

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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