Alan Keyes is not your average man. For one thing, he is probably clinically insane. For another, we will never, ever forget -- we will be 108 years old, on our deathbed, laughing and cackling -- the South Carolina GOP primary debate when Alan Keyes shouted and yelled that the question "what is your biggest regret" (WHICH WAS ASKED OF EVERY CANDIDATE) was "racist." Why would anyone assume he had ever done anything wrong? IS IT BECAUSE HE IS BLACK?
Well, yes. Obviously!
But what about that alternate timeline where Alan Keyes beats that upstart Barack Obama in the Illinois Senate election, and goes on to become President of the United States? What then?
Well, we would not be grabbing everyone's weapons so we can "cull them," that is for sure, because Alan Keyes is simply not going to stand for it!
Also, we would be governed by a clinically insane person, so that might have had its downsides.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.
