With all the glamour and excitement that is the D.C. Power Players "Jeopardy," people forget what it's all really about. It's not about winning or losing or humiliating a political adversary or tasting for a brief instant what it might be like to be actually famous. . . It's about using charitable donations as a vehicle for self-promotion. A guide to the Power Players and what their charities say about them:

Tucker Carlson: American Camping Association; Wawenock Scholarships

"I am not as effeminate as the bow tie would suggest."

Ari Fleischer: March of Dimes

"I'm not as evil as you think. Not evil at all. The message here: A lack of evilness. No more questions."

Bob Woodward: Sidwell Friends School

"Every moment of my waking life is devoted to sucking up to people."

Maria Bartiromo: National Italian American Foundation; Columbus Citizen’s Foundation

"I am Italian."

Gretchen Carlson: MacPhail Center for the Arts; American Cancer Society’s Taking A Step

"Who am I?"

Aaron Brown: Make-A-Wish Foundation

"Help."

Anderson Cooper: American Heart Association

"I am really fucking hot."

Al Franken: Congressional Hunger Center

"I will be running for office."

Keith Olbermann: Ed Randall’s Bat for a Cure

"I was more popular as a sportscaster."

Tim Russert: Boys & Girls Club of Greater Washington, D.C.

"I'm a regular guy."

Tavis Smiley: Tavis Smiley Foundation

"I am the most important person in the world."

Ashleigh Banfield: The Child Abuse Prevention Center of Dallas

"Don't hurt me."

Peggy Noonan: The Sisters of Life

"I can politicize anything."

Kweisi Mfume: Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Maryland

"It just sounds like I'm foreign."

Jeopardy Power Players [Jeopardy.com]