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Liveblogging coverage of tonight's exciting/terrible primaries will begin very soon now! But just like on the Cable TeeVee News, your Wonkette Political Team must sit around with their laptops engaged in pre-game punditry. What, for example, are we supposed to do if Our Blessed Lady of Wingnuttery actually loses her suburban wingnut congressional seat? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO AMERICA? How will it feel to be gay married in a burqa, at illegal gunpoint, by Imam Nobama, using stimulus money for agnostic socialism?


Ken L.

oh jeez can you imagine if bachmann loses? what are we gonna do?

Lauri A.

I know

Ken L.

we can hope for a tight race, and a protracted, increasingly crazy recount battle

Ken L.

at least

Ken L.

and god knows we didn't lose palin just because she lost/quit all political offices

Ken L.

it is a wonderful new era when actually being in office is secondary to being a political celebrity idiot

Ken L.

god, time was somebody like walter mondale would run & lose and then you could say, Good riddance, loser, won't be seeing you around again

Aug 10

7:20 PM

Lauri A.

I don't think Bachmann has Palin's staying power

Lauri A.

Unless her foster kids start doing fun things

Ken L.

she is more of a local phenom, it is true

Ken L.

but so was palin until walnuts said RISE UP

Lauri A.

We can hope that someone chooses her as a running mate in 2012

Ken L.

/the way bruce springsteen said that, to 9/11

Ken L.

yeah i could see a romney or some other blueblood moderate picking her for a loony teabag chance

Ken L.

newt, he's so fucking shameless

Lauri A.

Oh man that would be a ticket

Ken L.

he will drop her off the ticket when she immediately gets cancer

Ken L.

put nikki haley on the ticket. "sorry she's hotter even though she's muslin"

Lauri A.

yeah, because he'll give her cancer and then make her go

Ken L.

if a woman touches newt "down there" (his jowls) they get the cancer

Lauri A.

Right, sex-rabies.

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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