What if Ted Stevens Worked for Best Buy?

Oh! How we all laughed when we read earlier this week about Senator Ted Stevens' (R-AK) dizzying cluelessness about the internet. But what if Stevens, I wondered, woke up one day and found himself, Kafka-like, to be a salesman for Best Buy?

  • 9:00 AM: Ted finally gives up after searching half-an-hour for the 8-track tape department.

  • 11:30 AM:Stevens is asked to show how an iPod works but defers after he is unable to locate the crank.

  • 2:00 PM:Ted watches some pre-teen customers trying out the video games and is impressed by how perfectly they sync their hand movements to the movie playing on the screen.

  • 3:30 PM: Stevens' coworkers fail to see the need for a "wireless demonstration hoop" to convince the public of their "miraculous claims".

  • 4:30 PM: Ted is called into his supervisor's office where he is promoted to assistant manager.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc