Is Donald Trump saying something racist? His mouth is open.

The Grating Communicator held a round-table discussion of California's "sanctuary" laws at the White House yesterday, so he could hear from all the affected parties, as long as the affected parties were state and local officials who agree with Trump. (The table, we should note in the interest of accuracy, was actually rectangular.) There were no seats at the table for undocumented migrants, who are criminals, DUH, or for California officials who oppose Trump, because obviously they hate America and are advocating for criminality. After one sheriff complained she was pretty certain she knew of some MS-13 gang members who need to be deported, but the stupid laws won't let ICE come and grab them, Trump said something has to be done about these monsters. Wait, which monsters: MS-13 members or all undocumented border crossers? Pfft, is there a difference?

Here's the official White House transcript:

SHERIFF [Margaret] MIMS [of Fresno County]: Now ICE is the only law enforcement agency that cannot use our databases to find the bad guys. They cannot come in and talk to people in our jail, unless they reach a certain threshold. They can’t do all kinds of things that other law enforcement agencies can do. And it’s really put us in a very bad position.

THE PRESIDENT: It’s a disgrace. Okay? It’s a disgrace.

SHERIFF MIMS: It’s a disgrace.

THE PRESIDENT: And we’re suing on that, and we’re working hard, and I think it will all come together, because people want it to come together. It’s so ridiculous. The concept that we’re even talking about is ridiculous. We’ll take care of it, Margaret. We’ll win.

SHERIFF MIMS: Thank you. There could be an MS-13 member I know about -- if they don’t reach a certain threshold, I cannot tell ICE about it.

THE PRESIDENT: We have people coming into the country, or trying to come in -- and we’re stopping a lot of them -- but we’re taking people out of the country. You wouldn’t believe how bad these people are. These aren’t people. These are animals. And we’re taking them out of the country at a level and at a rate that’s never happened before. And because of the weak laws, they come in fast, we get them, we release them, we get them again, we bring them out. It’s crazy.

The dumbest laws — as I said before, the dumbest laws on immigration in the world. So we’re going to take care of it, Margaret. We’ll get it done. [Emphasis added -- Dok Zoom]

And now all sorts of liberal America haters are lying and saying that Donald Trump called all undocumented immigrants "animals," when he clearly meant we're deporting MS-13 members, who are animals and not even human. Of course, as Vox's Dara Lind points out, quoting Trump "in context" is almost meaningless, because Trump is happy to encourage confusion. He frames every single discussion of immigration in terms of how we have to deport everyone, to make sure we get rid of all the animals.

And as Slate illustrates today, the New Cruelty is all about eliminating such distinctions. Even if they have to straight out lie about a Dreamer kid whom ICE falsely accused of being affiliated with a gang. As we're always saying here, go read the whole thing. It's the sort of nightmare Franz Kafka would consider a tad over the top, and Yr Wonkette will do a stand-alone story on it later.

Meanwhile, back at the oblong table discussion, Trump was awfully sad to learn -- according to Lassen County District Attorney Stacey Montgomery -- that California's recent legalization of recreational weed has fueled an increase in "organized crime," and illegals are all up in THAT:

Did Montgomery offer any evidence to back that claim up? Heck naw! She is a DA, so why on earth would she invent such things? Also, she was very proud to say she's not going to answer an ACLU request for documents on how her office is complying with one of California's "sanctuary" laws, because -- we shit you not:

[MONTGOMERY:] We have nothing. Because this office will stand for the rule of law. Lassen County stands for the rule of law. And we have no policies to give you because we will not issue such policies from this desk and from this office.

THE PRESIDENT: Yeah. Good job.

She believes in the "rule of law." But not the rule of state laws she doesn't believe in, because she's pretty sure the state's laws will eventually be overturned in the courts, maybe. GOOD JOB.

Then it was time for ICE director Thomas Homan to nearly come to tears over all the mean, unfair things liberals have been accusing ICE of doing, because don't you people understand ICE agents face death at the hands of those animals every day they go to work?

Remember, it's unfair to accuse Trump of calling undocumented migrants "not people" or "animals," because he only meant MS-13, and ICE should be allowed to do whatever it wants in pursuing those animals. And if that includes lying in court and conflating all immigrants with criminals, well, you have to break some families if you want to make an omelette. Oh, and it's also the Democrats' fault that Trump has to break up families; we really have no choice, you see.

Also, Sarah Huckabee Sanders just explained to the press that Donald Trump was "very clearly referring to MS-13 gang members, who enter the country illegally and deportations are hamstrung by our laws," and also she thinks maybe "animals" is too kind for the likes of them:

No, she's not going to actually say the term didn't apply to migrants in general, because you should see it obviously doesn't. If conservatives think it applies to all immigrants, they're mistaken, but why bother clearing it up? And of course, anyone suggesting Trump -- and now Sanders -- was deliberately conflating all immigrants with the most bloodthirsty gang in the country, well then they're clearly just big fans of horrific gang violence: "If the media and liberals want to defend MS-13, they're more than welcome to."

Christ, the entire country is being run by internet trolls. This is probably all Stephen Colbert's fault, for all those interviews where he reported a rightwing fib about a liberal position, played a clip of the perfectly non-controversial thing, then asked "So why do you endorse putting all Fox News viewers in concentration camps?"

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[NYT / Vox / Slate / The White House / Aaron Rupar on Twitter]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.

In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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