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Say what you will about Steve Bannon, but the man sure does give good copy!

They’re going to crack Don Junior like an egg on national TV.

From your liver-spotted lips to God's ears, Steve! Also, too, what is it with this White House inviting the FAKE NEWS media in to inspect the dumpster fire up close? Did they think reporter Michael Wolff wouldn't print all the crazy shit he heard when they let him have the run of the White House and sat down for endless bitch'n'backstab sessions? The Guardian and now NBC have gotten their hands on hard copies of Wolff's book Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House (buy through the link and your Wonkette gets a cut) out next week. And it is full of crazy, incriminating shit!

God only knows who Trump will attack to take the focus off this steaming pile. (It is North Korea.) So let's enjoy the juicy gossip before the bombs start going off! Take it away, Steve-O! Tell us what you really think of DJ, Kush and Pauly's Trump Tower meeting with those Russians offering sexxxxxy Hillary dirt.

The three senior guys in the campaign thought it was a good idea to meet with a foreign government inside Trump Tower in the conference room on the 25th floor – with no lawyers. They didn’t have any lawyers.

Even if you thought that this was not treasonous, or unpatriotic, or bad shit, and I happen to think it’s all of that, you should have called the FBI immediately.

Shut the front door! We actually agree with the Chief Dominatrix at Dead Breitbart's Brooks Brothers Dungeon. Well, kind of. Bannon is totally down with colluding with Russia to throw the election, but you have to fob that treason shit off on your lawyers! DUH!

Bannon went on, Wolff writes, to say that if any such meeting had to take place, it should have been set up “in a Holiday Inn in Manchester, New Hampshire, with your lawyers who meet with these people”. Any information, he said, could then be “dump[ed] … down to Breitbart or something like that, or maybe some other more legitimate publication”.

Bannon added: “You never see it, you never know it, because you don’t need to … But that’s the brain trust that they had.”

Hello! Get the help to wash your stolen data laundry! Does he have to tell you dipshits everything? And get that Glenn Greenwald guy to publish it -- he's got a raging hard-on for Hillary anyway. Or, maybe, WikiLeaks! (Which is what they did.) You start the ball rolling in a "legitimate publication," then you have Breitbart run a million hit pieces. Buncha fucking one-shirt amateurs!

And Jesus, don't tell the Old Man about it! At least these morons know that much, right Steve?

Of course they didn't.

So will this investigation be wrapping up in the next few weeks like Trump's lawyers have been saying for months now? Will Trump be exonerated?

“You realise where this is going,” [Bannon] is quoted as saying. “This is all about money laundering. Mueller chose [senior prosecutor Andrew] Weissmann first and he is a money-laundering guy. Their path to fucking Trump goes right through Paul Manafort, Don Jr and Jared Kushner … It’s as plain as a hair on your face.” [...]

“It goes through Deutsche Bank and all the Kushner shit. The Kushner shit is greasy. They’re going to go right through that. They’re going to roll those two guys up and say play me or trade me.”

Huh. So all those Breitbart hit pieces on Mueller are just bullshit propaganda since Trump's going down for money laundering? What a coincidence! That lines up exactly with what those Fusion GPS guys said this morning in the Times. Guess the mothership will just have to concentrate on the greasy Kushner angle instead.

That train is never late! The Breitbart commenters HAZ A CONFUZ about this apparent betrayal of Chairman MAGA by Steve Bannon, but they perk right up if there's Jew-hatin' to be done.

The rancour between Bannon and “Javanka” – Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump – is a recurring theme of the book. Kushner and Ivanka are Jewish. Henry Kissinger, the former secretary of state, is quoted as saying: “It is a war between the Jews and the non-Jews.”

Well, that's just great. Trump's going down and THE GREASY JOOZ are to blame.

Anything else Steve? Were you perhaps in the loop on all the dirty Russia treason funtimes? After all, you were campaign manager while Cambridge Analytica -- on whose board you sat -- was working its disinformatzya magic. You were Trump's most trusted advisor. He never mentioned the Russia stuff?

[Bannon] insists that he knows no Russians, will not be a witness, will not hire a lawyer and will not appear on national television answering questions.

And there you have it: Steve Bannon loves to destroy everything, hates Jared Kushner, and is smarter than all you fucking idiots. What's that in his mouth there? Why, we do believe it's his cock.

y'all, this week is CRAZY! Please money us!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

[The Guardian]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please help, by making a donation of MONEY.

[Washington Post]

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