Didn't get around to Thursdays with Tina today -- we swear we'll bring the feature back eventually! -- but perhaps you can get your snarky mock translation fix with a brief edition of Thursdays with John:
| John says | John means |
| Republican Sen. John McCain, a former prisoner of war in Vietnam, called an ad criticizing John Kerry's military service "dishonest and dishonorable" and urged the White House on Thursday to condemn it as well. | I am done pretending to like George Bush. |
| "It was the same kind of deal that was pulled on me," McCain said in an interview with The Associated Press, referring to his bitter Republican primary fight with President Bush. | Being tortured every day for a few years makes your memory really sharp. |
| Later, McCain said the Bush campaign has denied any involvement and added, "I can't believe the president would pull such a cheap stunt." | I probably shouldn't have said that earlier thing. I kind of like the sound of "Secretary McCain." |
| "I think John Kerry served honorably in Vietnam. I think George Bush served honorably in the Texas Air National Guard during the Vietnam War." | Oh, screw it. Fuck you, George, you big pussy. |
