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In our brilliant and joyful liveblog of day two of Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation hearings, we noted that the damn thing was going to go on well into the night, and that if there were fireworks, they'd probably come late, from Cory Booker and Kamala Harris AKA the Fun Senators AKA #They'reRunning. (And oh boy, speaking of fireworks, wait until we tell you about Cory Booker this morning!)

As for last night's fireworks? Oh, they happened. They fucking happened. They came from Kamala Harris, president of your ass, who had a very simple question for Brett Kavanaugh, one that he, who is so very well prepared, was not at all prepared for.



HARRIS: Judge, have you ever discussed Special Counsel Mueller or his investigation with anyone?

DURRRRRRRRRR! That was Kavanaugh's answer. DURRRRRRRRRRR!

The correct answer here would have been, "Sure I've talked to my wife about it and my friends and some judges and whatnot." But Kavanaugh was already flustered.

Then Harris got a little bit more specific:

HARRIS: Have you discussed Mueller or his investigation with anyone at Kasowitz, Benson and Torres, the law firm founded by Marc Kasowitz, President Trump's personal lawyer?

KAVANAUGH: I've ...

HARRIS: Be sure about your answer, sir.

BOOM! KAMALA KNOWS SOMETHING.

It sounds like she knows about some sort of improper conversation/s Brett Kavanaugh, that scumbag, has had with member/s of Kasowitz, Benson and Torres, the law firm founded by Marc Kasowitz, President Trump's personal lawyer!

And Kavanaugh, who has such a wonderful memory, was suddenly overtaken with an extreme case of amnesia!

KAVANAUGH: Well ... I'm not remembering, but if you have something you want to ...

HARRIS: Are you certain you've not had a conversation with anyone at that law firm?

KAVANAUGH: Kasowitz, Benson ...

HARRIS: Kasowitz, Benson and Torres, which is the law firm founded by Marc Kasowitz, who is President Trump's personal lawyer.

OK, hold up right here. Kasowitz Benson Torres LLC is based in New York City, but has a location in Washington DC as well. It has 350 lawyers at all locations, and therefore is sizable but not humongous. The DC location is about a block from the White House. The DC location has SEVEN LAWYERS.

Brett Goddamn Kavanaugh has been on the DC Circuit Court of Appeals for twelve years, and before that he was the staff secretary in the Bush White House. He is not CONFUSED when he hears the name "Kasowitz Benson and Torres." He does not have to rack his brain about this.

But he sure did a good impression of it!

KAVANAUGH: Is there a person you're talking about?

HARRIS: I'm asking you a very direct question. Yes or no?

KAVANAUGH: I need to know the ... uh ... I'm not sure I know everyone who works at that law firm.

HARRIS: I don't think you need to. I think you need to know who you talked with. Who'd you talk to?

KAVANAUGH: I don't think I ... I'm not remembering ... but I'm happy to be refreshed, or if you want to tell me who you're thinking of ...

HARRIS: Sir, are you saying that with all you remember ... you have an impeccable memory. You've been speaking for almost eight hours -- I think more -- to this committee about all sorts of things you remember. How can you not remember whether or not you had a conversation about Robert Mueller or his investigation with anyone at that law firm? This investigation has only been going on for so long, sir. So please answer the question.

KAVANAUGH: I'm not sure I [...] I would like to know the person you're thinking of ...

HARRIS: I think you're thinking of someone and you don't want to tell us.

DAMN, KAMALA HARRIS.

Oh my god, she is so scary, and we love her so fucking much.

At this point, GOP Senator Mike Lee, who is about as useful as a potted plant that has no friends, raised the objection that C'MON YOU GUYS, Washington has lots of law firms, so how can it be fair to expect Brett Kavanaugh to remember every single little one of them. We explained above that such excuses are bullshit.

At that point a protester took over and yelled a lot of words, and Harris's line of questioning didn't go much further, and that's approximately where last night ended.

Chris Geidner quotes a Democratic aide who commented on the exchange by very coyly not commenting on the exchange:

After the hearing concluded for the night, a Democratic aide said that they "have reason to believe" that a conversation happened and they "are continuing to pursue it."

That's code for "We have the fuckin' receipts, but we're not tellin'. Yet." You really think Kamala Harris would shoot if she thought she was gonna miss?

Thursday morning, Senator Orrin Hatch, who apparently has amnesia about last night's hearing, tried to PSHAW! all over Harris's questioning by saying that mean lady didn't even let Kavanaugh finish answering her questions! We didn't know SCOTUS nominees were required to have a good solid minute of stepping on their dicks before answering Kamala Harris's questions, but then again, lots of white male Republican senators seem to have a special set of rules when it comes to Harris, who absolutely terrifies them.

Kavanaugh responded to Hatch:

I haven't had any inappropriate conversations about that investigation with anyone," Kavanaugh added. "I've never given anyone any hints, forecasts, previews, winks, nothing about my view as a judge or how I would rule as a judge on that or anything related to that, so I thank you for the opportunity to clarify and reassure you on that."

Uh huh. Pretty sure Kamala Harris is referring to a different kind of conversation, one about which she has the receipts. And considering Kavanaugh's history of (allegedly!) lying to Congress during confirmation hearings, it's absolutely possible he's simply lying.

Who's fired up and ready to go for Kamala Harris's next round of questioning?

QUICK UPDATE: Kamala Harris did address the issue in her next round, and after MORE hemming and hawing, she managed to get a flat denial from the motherfucker. That doesn't mean this story is over, of course. It just means that's where things are until the full truth comes out. AND WHEN IT DOES ...

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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OOH BOY HOWDY, The Federalist is on fire this week! Just this morning we told you about the hilarious Federalist column where one neo-Nazi's mom and dad are Democrats, ipso facto QED NEO-NAZIS ARE THE REAL LIBERALS, FUCKERS! Is America's dumbest woman whose name doesn't rhyme with Cara Snailin' over there being a total fuckin' Mollie Hemingway right now? Sadly, she blocked us on Twitter, so how could we possibly know? The answer is WE DON'T CARE.

But now we have a gem of the Federalist genre, an article written by a whiny-ass gay quisling conservative, who would like to chew on his blankie and whine about how much harder it is out there for a conservative than it is for a gay person. This is a subject we happen to have some knowledge about, because we are super gay! And we know a lot about conservatives, both firsthand -- being subjected to them every single one of our almost four decades of life -- and also from covering extremist right-wing Christians for a very long time. Particularly the kind that tell young, impressionable, vulnerable gay kids that they need to pray away the gay if they want Jesus to exercise some self control and refrain from sending them to a fiery hell for all eternity.

We clicked on the article with high hopes. See if you can spot why:

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pic via Glamour Shots, we mean this dude's old website

The House Education and Workforce Committee was all set to have a hearing today all about the horrors that a higher minimum wage would wreak on the economy. Horrors like rich people being slightly less rich. Horrors like business owners claiming they will have to fire people and charge $15 for a McChicken if forced to pay workers a living wage, which they won't actually do because no one will buy a $15 McChicken and they would go out of business if they tried that, and they already don't hire more people than the bare minimum they can get away with. Horrors like poor people not being "motivated" to work harder and get better jobs that do not pay them an amount no human being could possibly live on.

Alas, as Politico reports, it was not to be, as committee members discovered their big witness for the hearing, San Diego State University economist Joseph Sabia (pictured above in a Glamour Shot from his archived website), was kind of a wacko.

Sabia, as it turns out, once had a blog called "No Shades Of Gray," in which he wrote many columns of an extremely homophobic and sexist persuasion. In one of these columns, in 2002, Sabia was very mad about one man's lawsuit against several fast food giants for contributing to his health and obesity problems by failing to disclose the nutritional information of the food they sold. In retrospect, I think most people are now on board with these chains being required to post calorie counts and other nutritional information, but in 2002, Sabia was convinced that requiring them to do this would be an assault on freedom for all Americans everywhere. His response to this was to try and attempt a Jonathan Swift posture and suggest taxing gay sex, which he claimed leads to "disastrous health consequences."

Because sure, that's the same thing, basically.


In gay sex, we have an activity that is clearly leading to disastrous health consequences. What rational person would engage in this sort of activity? There is only one solution - let's tax it.

"Come on, Sabia," you say, "how are you going to enforce these taxes? Are you going to send government officials to peep into everyone's bedroom?"

Eventually. But first we have to mount the assault on Big Gay (no, I am not talking about Rosie O'Donnell). We can tax gay nightclubs, websites, personal ads, sexual paraphernalia, and so forth. Talk about a sin tax!!! We can cripple gay-related industries and get them right where we want them. All gay clubs will have to feature huge, flashing warning signs like "CAUTION: Entering this nightclub may increase your chance of contracting STDs and dying."

Big Gay clearly lures people into trying their "product" without discussing the risks to mind, body, and soul. The average Joe on the street does not understand all of the possible bad outcomes. I can almost hear him now:

"They said '100 percent hotties.' I thought that meant it was fun. I thought gay sex was OK…Now I have all these diseases. Big Gay has wrecked my life."

In the immoral words of Warren G, "Regulators!! Mount up!"

EXTREME SHUDDER.

In another 2002 article, classily titled "College Girls: Unpaid Whores," Sabia laments that feminists have led college girls to stop trying to be like the Holy Virgin Mary and instead to aspire to be more like that hussy Ally McBeal.

No, really.

As women have strayed from the church, they have replaced what is holy with what is temporally pleasing. For Catholics, the model woman is Mary, the virgin Mother of God. She is beloved by the faithful for her unflappable devotion to and trust in God, her nurturing of the Son of Man, and her deep love for all humanity.

Today's college girl looks to Ally McBeal, the trollops of Sex in the City, and the floozies on Friends to set their moral compasses.

The sad truth is that college girls are so desperate to find love that they are willing to degrade themselves to get it. But true love can only be understood in the context of the Word of God. Any other notion of "love" is secular and, by definition, limited and finite.

Not only that, but instead of going to college to find a husband, they have boyfriends. Boyfriends they have S-E-X with. And sometimes, not even that. Sometimes they have sex with people just because they want to have sex with people, and not even in exchange for Valentine's Day cards or money!


Additionally, other sex-based relationships have become commonplace. In recent years, a new and disturbing arrangement known as "friends with benefits" has emerged. In this arrangement, men are not even forced to perform the normal duties of boyfriends, i.e. flowers, Valentine's Day cards, rides to the abortion clinic, etc. Instead, girls consider these guys "just friends" whom they happen to screw every now and again. No strings, no attachments, no dinners. Just sex when they feel like it.

This type of arrangement is the next logical step in the direction that young women have drifted in the last few decades. These women have become unpaid whores. At least prostitutes made a buck off of their trade. These women just give it away.

How cute! He was like the ur-incel, basically.

Anyway, following the discovery of the posts, the House Education and Workforce Committee's GOP communications director Kelley McNabb told Politico that "members were uncomfortable moving forward on the hearing." A more optimistic person might think this was a step forward, that maybe those committee members actually thought it was bad to suggest that being gay means being a disease-ridden monster or that college girls are whores, but it's probably more to avoid embarrassment than anything else. Guess they'll have to start from scratch and find a crappy economist who will tell them what they want to hear about the minimum wage but who doesn't have an embarrassing Geocities blog in their past. Good luck with that!

[Politico]

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