CNBC Jamaican Financial Psychic Jim Cramer just wants to do his televised Tarot reading in peace, but Barack Obama keeps calling in and asking tiresome questions about the future. Enough already! [Think Progress]

There is Andrew Sullivan, Heir of Isildur, who hails from the faraway Atlantic. And then there is Anonymous, your teenage son, who comes from the Basement. They are part of the Fellowship of the Internet, and they must stop Sauron from stealing the election in Iran. [AMERICAblog]

You look stressed. Why don't you light a few candles, hop in the tub and relax to the celebrated album Whale Sounds and Michelle Malkin? The first track -- “Closing Guantanamo is the easy and lazy thing to do" -- always puts us in a magical Enya-like trance. [Michelle Malkin]

For today's RedState Bible Study we will be reading 1 Kings 3:16-28, The Judgement of King Obama: "And two women appeared before Obama and began to bicker in a most incommodious manner, both insisting they were the mother of some unborn baby, which wise King Obama knew was impossible. Finally, the King rose from his gilded throne and bellowed, 'Bring the unborn child to me, so that I may abort it with my sword.' And then King Obama swatted a fly that landed on his arm. The End." [RedState]