What You Missed On Too Many Kids And We've Stopped Counting

Our friends at Happy Nice Time People are watching19 Kids & Countingso we don't have to. (We and our livers thank you, friends at Happy Nice Time People.) And how many Kids^TMpopped out of Momma Duggar's body, for God and America, this week? Let's find out :

Episode 2 kicks off with Jessa and Ben preparing for a date at the shooting range while Jill and Derick get ready for a birthday outing on a hiking trail. I wonder if sisters 2 and 3 have always been the stars of the show or if this season is centering around them because of their romances. As best I can tell, anyone who wants screen time better be talking about our courting couples or they can find themselves a great big bowl of dicks to eat.

“I love you,” Jessa says to Ben the moment he walks in the door. They side hug, and then it’s off to the pickup truck with 14-year-old Jason in tow as chaperone. Kiddo has to ride in between the two lovebirds lest a sudden turn to right lead to some accidental side boob grazing. The ride to the shooting range is entirely dominated by “Once we’re married…” chatter, with Jason happily chiming in.

We cut over to Jill, who is celebrating her 23rd birthday with fiancé Derick and counting down the weeks ‘til they’re finally able to see each other naked (11!). Thirteen-year-old James is chaperoning, because an entire camera crew watching their every move isn’t enough to make sure these two soon-to-be married 20-somethings don’t blow off the hiking and go find a no-tell motel for some light pecking on the lips. James bellyaches about being carsick the entire car ride to the trail, which only feels like it takes forever.

Plus, Ben and Jessa go shootin' at the shootin' range. Guess who is the better shot? Hint: It is not Ben.

Also, there is this very important question:

So now I’m three episodes in, and I still haven’t figured out which of the Duggar kids is going to turn out to be gay. The numbers say there’s gotta be at least one.

That's just basic math.

Now go visit our HappyNice ex-sister site. They owe us money.

[ Happy Nice Time People ]