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When we wrote you words about Robert Mueller's sentencing memo for Michael Flynn, we noted that there was SO MUCH REDACTED BLACK INK, and that it appeared Flynn has been helping Mueller and the Department of Justice with a hell of a lot, both within the special counsel's investigation (SCO), and also apparently regarding two other criminal investigations, which are REDACTED. We had several ideas about what those REDACTED investigations might be, one of which was an outside investigation into Flynn's lobbying work for the Turkish government.

And it turns out maybe we were right!


The New York Times reports on the ongoing investigation into that lobbying work, which was once part of the SCO investigation, but has been kicked over to the Eastern District of Virginia (EDVA). The Times says it appears this is one of the investigations Mueller's memo is talking about, and we would agree that it appears that way. Investigators have been looking at work Flynn did, during the 2016 presidential election, on a campaign against exiled Turkish cleric Fethullah Gülen, who has been happily and safely and legally living in Pennsylvania for over 20 years now. Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan thinks Gülen is a radical Islamist cleric who led a coup against his government and wants him returned to Turkey, so they can murder him.

Michael Flynn got $530,000 ameros for his work (nice, bro!), even though he was originally offered $15 million ameros, to actually kidnap Gülen -- a crime that so far has not been committed. On election day 2016, Flynn published an op-ed in The Hill arguing that for the sake of our close buddy Turkey (which was paying Flynn), we really oughta send Gülen back to Turkey, to turn Erdoğan's frown upside down. A couple months before that, on September 19, 2016, Flynn and some of his pals and some Turks met to hatch a plan to illegally kidnap Gülen and send him back to Turkey. Is that totally normal? Sure why not. Former CIA director James Woolsey, who was part of the Trump transition but then suddenly quit for some reason, says he caught the tail end of that meeting, but he says he's not sure anything ever came of it. Strange, then, that he had a meeting the next day where he pitched a plan to discredit Gülen, but not to kidnap him, at least as far as we know.

And who did Woolsey meet with that day? As Natasha Bertrand reported at the time, it was with "businessmen Ekim Alptekin and Sezgin Baran Korkmaz." Alptekin is the Turkish businessman (with major Russian ties) who ended up giving Flynn the contract to do literal actual foreign agent work on this campaign for Turkey. According to Bertrand, Woolsey, also a Trump adviser, was also bidding on the contract. But the Turks didn't want no Woolsey, apparently. :(

Hey, pop quiz! Was James Woolsey on the board of Flynn's lobbying group, the Flynn Intel Group, which Flynn ran with his weird-faced son "Pizzagate Jr."? Yes, he was, although Woolsey says he had a very loose affiliation with it. Has Woolsey also been cooperating with this investigation? Yep yep yep!

So, there's a whole 'nother cast of characters -- Turkish businessmen, Russian businessmen, fuckin' Jim Woolsey, and probably people whose names we don't even know yet -- involved in this investigation over at EDVA, where a grand jury has been impaneled. Therefore there's a whole buncha fuckers Flynn could have been ratting out this whole time.

Also, remember how, even though Flynn is about to be sentenced, his cooperation is ongoing? That could be because this particular scheme is ongoing.

Remember how just recently the Trump administration was murmuring about maybe squirreling up a vaguely legal way to remove Gülen from his safe, legal home in Pennsylvania and send him back to let Turkey murder him, so Turkey will STFU about Saudi Arabia murdering US resident and Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi in Turkey? Fuckin' weird, huh? Crazy how Gülen's name just keeps coming up!

Just like Trump trying to get rid of Russian sanctions keeps coming up!

Stay on these fuckers 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week. Even as their crimes are being exposed, they keep trying to commit THE SAME CRIMES OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Lock 'em all up.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Photo by Wonkette Operative 'Teecha'

If it's Sunday, this must be Nice Things, our weekly escape from the quotidian awfulness. Our featured doggo this week comes via a photo by Wonkette reader "Teecha," and we don't think Teecha mentioned a name for this lovely old rescue dog. If it is a dog at all: I think it may actually be one of Sia's more inventive disguises, like that time she was a little pony.

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The producers of your favorite live-action Jack Chick pamphlet, "God's Not Dead" -- you know, the one where the Hercules dude plays an evil philosophy professor who tells all of his students on the first day that they are no longer allowed to believe in god? As all secular professors do? -- have come out with a thrilling new movie, all about how abortion is bad or whatever.

The movie tells the "true" story of Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic worker turned professional anti-choicer. Johnson has been a darling of the forced birth circuit ever since she made up ridiculous and provably false reasons for quitting the Planned Parenthood that was about to fire her for being bad at her job.

Basically, she claims that Planned Parenthood was pushing her to make more abortions happen so they could reel in more dough, and also that she witnessed (for the first time ever!) an ultrasound-guided abortion and saw the baby move from the light and then immediately realized that what she was doing was wrong.

The thing is, however -- no ultrasound-guided abortions were performed on the day she said it happened, and the only reason there was an uptick in abortions at her clinic was because they started offering the abortion pill on a daily basis (and had previously only been performing surgical abortions every other Saturday).

As you may have guessed, the movie does not address any of these things. It also looks very, very bad.

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