What's White House Press Sec Stephanie Grisham Lying About Today?

White House
What's White House Press Sec Stephanie Grisham Lying About Today?

We've all seen this horror film: Young woman moves into an old home and the angry spirits of the former residents torment her and try to drive her insane. She finds messages from them everywhere: YOU AREN'T GOING TO MAKE IT! LEAVE NOW! YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE PRESS SECRETARY!

That's the Jordan Peele-style thriller part-time White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham is pitching. She doesn't often give interviews, but when she does, she likes to share Halloween stories two weeks late. This is what she told a Norfolk, Virginia, radio station today.

PROFESSIONAL LIAR: We came into the White House, I'll tell you something. Every office was filled with Obama books, and we had notes left behind that said, "You will fail." "You aren't going to make it."

This is the type of deranged, easily disproven lie that makes you question Grisham's sanity. I know it feels like 100 years ago, but the Electoral College gave us Donald Trump in 2016. People have cameras on their phone. If the ghosts of Obama administrations past tried to terrify incoming Trump staffers, we'd have known about it. This ain't Amityville

The Shining (1980) - Redrum Scene (5/7) | Movieclipswww.youtube.com

Grisham claimed a big note reading YOU WILL FAIL! was taped to the door of the press office, probably just below where someone had scrawled REDRUM. We shouldn't try to make too much sense of her lies, but it's unclear how the office was "filled with Obama books." She told the Daily Mail the books were stuffed in office cabinets. That's a likely fate for Donald Trump Jr.'s Triggered, but people actually read Obama's books.

Three former Trump staffers back up Grisham's tale of horror. They have no evidence, of course.

ANONYMOUS LIAR: Yeah, there were mean notes left in odd places. One in a deputy press secretary's office, one inside a desk drawer in upper press, another on a bathroom mirror. They were all about how we were doomed to failure.

Obama staffers wouldn't waste time telling Trump's people that they're going to suck. They work for Trump. They already know this.

AND ANOTHER LIAR: Those notes definitely happened. They even left us Russian vodka in the cabinet.

I thought the Caligari cabinets were stuffed with copies of Dreams from My Father and The Audacity of Hope. They even found room for Stolichnaya? These all sound like housewarming gifts.

SAME LIAR: They were trolling us from the minute we got there. It was definitely just ridiculous. We were trying to find the bathroom, and we get these notes saying "You will fail," and "You're not going to make it."

Wait, the Trump staff had trouble locating the bathrooms? Yeah, these geniuses didn't need a note to tell them they weren't going to make it. Reputable people who used to work in the White House -- those were the days -- immediately disputed Grisham's pack of lies. Former National Security Adviser Susan Rice called it a "bald-faced lie."

We hate when people proclaim something "never happened" when they weren't there. But does anybody think for one minute that if there were poison pen letters left by Obama staffers it would have taken three and a half years for them to complain about it? These are not "stiff upper lip" people. This is just science.

Grisham quickly backpedaled and later claimed she "certainly wasn't implying every office had that issue." She said she was just talking about her own imaginary experience. She doesn't understand why everyone is so "sensitive."

GRISHAM: At the time we saw it as a kind of a prank, and something that always happened. We were so busy trying to learn where the bathrooms were and how to turn on the lights, it wasn't that big of a deal.

OH MY GOD! How dumb are you people that you can't find the fucking bathroom? The bathrooms are the easiest rooms to locate in an office. They are the ones with toilets. I don't know if Grisham pissed herself at least once during her first week because she couldn't find a bathroom in time, but it wouldn't surprise me.

After publicly crapping on the Obama staff, Grisham does acknowledge a "lovely note" someone left for her in the East Wing. She doesn't mention Joanna Rosholm by name, but Michelle Obama's former, full time press secretary tweeted a copy of the note she left. It is beautiful and sweet.

And Grisham can go fuck herself.

Also, since liveblog is NEVER GONNA END, this right here is your OPEN THREAD!

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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