Wheel Of Ohio GOP Senate Hopefuls Now Includes Guy Who Just Called Entire Middle Class A Freeloader

2022 midterms
Wheel Of Ohio GOP Senate Hopefuls Now Includes Guy Who Just Called Entire Middle Class A Freeloader

It's hard to break through the news cycle in the three-ring dumpster fire of the Republican Senate primary in Ohio.

Between Josh Mandel burning his mask for freedom and calling everyone a pussy, and Peter Thiel sticking his hand up J.D. Vance's puppet ass and making increasingly unhinged performance art come out his mouth, hardly anyone is paying attention to Mike Gibbons. And we should pay attention, because that replacement level white dude holds a slim lead in recent polling and might well end up being the nominee if the other two dipshits split the loony vote.

Gibbons is your bog standard 70-year-old businessman who earned some cash and thinks that makes him qualified to run the country. He knows who contributes to this country, and it is job creators like himself, not the dirty poors or even the petty bourgeoisie who clog up Ohio's endless suburbs. In fact, you moochers need to quit demanding perks like "healthcare" and affordable tuition until you start kicking in more.

“The top 20 percent of earners in the United States pay 82 percent of federal income tax — and, if you do the math, and 45% to 50% don’t pay any income tax, you can see the middle class is not really paying any kind of a fair share, depending on how you want to define it,” Gibbons said on a podcast in September in comments recently surfaced by the AP.

Which is cool and all, if you disregard the fact that those same 20 percent of earners have seen their income skyrocket in the past two generations to the point that they're eating more than half of the earnings pie, with the top one percent holding more wealth than all the middle class put together. Moreover, Gibbons put the rabbit in the hat by restricting his data set to federal income tax paid, conveniently omitting all the capital gains and real estate appreciation that those 20 percent are availing themselves of outside the federal income tax pool.

Not for nothing, but the top marginal income tax rate under GOP patron saint Ronald Reagan was 50 percent, as opposed to the 37 percent we have now. So, yeah, we actually agree with Gibbons when he says “How much of the total tax bill can a very small percentage of the nation pay and still be a democracy?” But not in the way he thinks.

Gibbons rushed to disavow his own statements, which are an unfortunate echo of National Republican Senatorial Committee Chair Rick Scott's policy plan, which calls to raise taxes on half of Americans so they'll have "skin in the game."

“Mike Gibbons does not support tax increases on any American — and never has,” a spokeswoman told the AP. “Mike is a businessman, not a career politician, and he understands economics and how to implement smart ideas and strategies that will benefit all Americans.”

But apparently this failed to do the trick, because OH, HEY, LOOKIE HERE! While we were typing NBC reported that Donald Trump is going to endorse that weirdo J.D. Vance, despite the fact that he's trailed in all the recent polling and Ohioans don't actually like him much.

GOP Rep. Jim Jordan, who backs Mandel, tried to talk Trump out of it, but to no avail:

A source close to Mandel’s campaign acknowledged Thursday that Trump's press shop had already written up an endorsement of Vance, but it threw up a last-minute obstacle for the former president to consider: an internal Republican poll conducted by his campaign showing Mandel in front with 33 percent of the vote, followed by Matt Dolan and Mike Gibbons tied at 15 percent. Vance and Jane Timken were tied at 9 percent in the Mandel poll.

And has there ever been a more Trump-y passage written than this?

[Ohio state senator Matt] Dolan is the only candidate who is running on a platform that does not seem to be courting the support of the former president. That has bothered Trump immensely and has pushed him to want to pick a winner to ensure that a non-Trump acolyte doesn't win a state that he won handily in 2020 and 2016.

Trump doesn't give a shit who wins, as long as it's someone who kisses his ass. Plus he thinks Mandel is a weirdo, so the Yalebilly gets the nod. Sorry, Mike Gibbons, you don't factor! But don't worry, if that fake populist actually does get to the Senate, he'll make damn sure to cut taxes to the bone.

Mazal tov, Ohio! You sure know how to pick 'em!

[AP / NBC]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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