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Do you like to have the tacos? We are fans of having the tacos and we do not mean like Taco Bell, although Taco Bell is gorgeous and godly in its own way. We also do not mean like that taco bowl trash the Trump Tower mess hall cuts up into itty bitty bite-sized pieces so Donald Trump is able to grasp it with his little rat fingers.

We mean REAL tacos, the Mexico kind, sold out of a food truck, by Messicans, for usually a very good value! We have been informed, by a Trump surrogate named Marco Gutierrez, who happens to be the co-founder of Latinos For Trump, that if Trump loses we will have "taco trucks on every corner." OMG WTF ORGASM HILLARY 4 PREZNIT OF TACOS:

 

“My culture is a dominant culture, and it’s imposing and it’s causing problems. If you don’t do something about it, you’re gonna have taco trucks [on] every corner,” the Mexican-born Gutierrez stated.

DO NOT THREATEN US WITH A GOOD TIME, SIR.

Because that would be AMAZING, would it not? Can you imagine being anywhere in America -- New Orleans, the hinterlands of Wyoming, wherever, BUMFUCK MONTANA WITH THE EDITRIX WHO IS SO HUNGRY FOR TACOS RIGHT NOW -- and craving good tacos, and immediately being able to satisfy that craving, because there is a taco truck on LITERALLY EVERY CORNER?

Now we know that, for some Trump supporters, that would be terrifying, because it implies non-white people owning businesses and being successful, and also existing. Also, real Mexican taco flavors are probably too spicy and fancy for those idiots, who think vienna sausages are gourmet delicacies.

Gutierrez's point, we think, was that his people, Mexicans, are very dangerous and bad -- some of them lovely people, he is sure -- but they're bringing a lot of problems. It was like somebody said, "Hey, Trump Latino spokesperson, remember that thing Trump said about Mexican rapists? Go ahead and put that in your own words." Another Latino MSNBC guest, New York state Sen. Adriano Espaillat, was not having it:

“I don’t know what culture Mr. Gutierrez is talking about,” he said, adding that he was offended by Gutierrez’s remark. “But I know that the Hispanic culture has a saying — a very prominent saying: Mi casa, tu casa. ‘My house, your house.’ It is a tolerant culture. It is one that welcomes neighbors in. It is one that shares their culture, their music, their folklore. It is not an aggressive or bullying culture, as was displayed by Donald Trump and his 10-points that he laid out.”

On a week that has been full of turmoil as regards Trump's "outreach" to the Latino community -- Hispanic advisers quitting, a hilariously bad photo-op trip to Mexico, where we learned Trump is incapable of standing up to the president of Mexico when they're face to face, and then a positively evil immigration speech that sounded more like Hitler than anything we've heard from him so far -- this should be the final straw for any "undecided" voters out there.

If Trump becomes president, you get a racist, thin-skinned loser, and you get No Tacos. If Hillary Clinton becomes president, you get an extremely qualified politician who's ready on day one, and you get tacos, OMG TACOS SO MANY TACOS, THERE IS A TRUCK ON EVERY CORNER! How is this even a contest anymore?

[Huffington Post / Salon]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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