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Do you like to have the tacos? We are fans of having the tacos and we do not mean like Taco Bell, although Taco Bell is gorgeous and godly in its own way. We also do not mean like that taco bowl trash the Trump Tower mess hall cuts up into itty bitty bite-sized pieces so Donald Trump is able to grasp it with his little rat fingers.

We mean REAL tacos, the Mexico kind, sold out of a food truck, by Messicans, for usually a very good value! We have been informed, by a Trump surrogate named Marco Gutierrez, who happens to be the co-founder of Latinos For Trump, that if Trump loses we will have "taco trucks on every corner." OMG WTF ORGASM HILLARY 4 PREZNIT OF TACOS:

 

“My culture is a dominant culture, and it’s imposing and it’s causing problems. If you don’t do something about it, you’re gonna have taco trucks [on] every corner,” the Mexican-born Gutierrez stated.

DO NOT THREATEN US WITH A GOOD TIME, SIR.

Because that would be AMAZING, would it not? Can you imagine being anywhere in America -- New Orleans, the hinterlands of Wyoming, wherever, BUMFUCK MONTANA WITH THE EDITRIX WHO IS SO HUNGRY FOR TACOS RIGHT NOW -- and craving good tacos, and immediately being able to satisfy that craving, because there is a taco truck on LITERALLY EVERY CORNER?

Now we know that, for some Trump supporters, that would be terrifying, because it implies non-white people owning businesses and being successful, and also existing. Also, real Mexican taco flavors are probably too spicy and fancy for those idiots, who think vienna sausages are gourmet delicacies.

Gutierrez's point, we think, was that his people, Mexicans, are very dangerous and bad -- some of them lovely people, he is sure -- but they're bringing a lot of problems. It was like somebody said, "Hey, Trump Latino spokesperson, remember that thing Trump said about Mexican rapists? Go ahead and put that in your own words." Another Latino MSNBC guest, New York state Sen. Adriano Espaillat, was not having it:

“I don’t know what culture Mr. Gutierrez is talking about,” he said, adding that he was offended by Gutierrez’s remark. “But I know that the Hispanic culture has a saying — a very prominent saying: Mi casa, tu casa. ‘My house, your house.’ It is a tolerant culture. It is one that welcomes neighbors in. It is one that shares their culture, their music, their folklore. It is not an aggressive or bullying culture, as was displayed by Donald Trump and his 10-points that he laid out.”

On a week that has been full of turmoil as regards Trump's "outreach" to the Latino community -- Hispanic advisers quitting, a hilariously bad photo-op trip to Mexico, where we learned Trump is incapable of standing up to the president of Mexico when they're face to face, and then a positively evil immigration speech that sounded more like Hitler than anything we've heard from him so far -- this should be the final straw for any "undecided" voters out there.

If Trump becomes president, you get a racist, thin-skinned loser, and you get No Tacos. If Hillary Clinton becomes president, you get an extremely qualified politician who's ready on day one, and you get tacos, OMG TACOS SO MANY TACOS, THERE IS A TRUCK ON EVERY CORNER! How is this even a contest anymore?

[Huffington Post / Salon]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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