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May 13, 2008 10:32 AM
Which Loser Senator Will Not Be Offered The Vice Presidency?
The untouchables who sit by the Ganges plucking human waste from the river hold the most thankless job in the world. The American vice president holds the second most thankless job in the world. So it's no surprise that most senators have zero interest in the position -- except for Larry Craig, who admitted in a creepily protesting-too-much fashion that "I would say 'No, Hillary.'" What are some other hilarious things America's jokester senators might say to the presidential nominees if tapped for the number two spot?
- Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.): "Absolutely. I think I would be great. First of all, I know how to behave at weddings and funerals. And I know how to be commander in chief. I'd bring a lot of fun to the job. We would rock the Naval Observatory."
- John Barrasso (R-Wyo.): "We'll have to see if Sen. McCain asks me to chair his selection committee. ... It certainly seemed to work well for the last guy from Wyoming."
- Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.): "I do not enjoy spending a lot of time at 'undisclosed locations.'"
- Joe Lieberman (D-Conn.): "Everybody knows I'm poison. Even that doomed fascist cripple McCain wouldn't have me."
Hat tip to Adjunct Wonkette Operative "T.B." for bringing our attention to this list of quotes from America's most ferocious blowhards.