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Which Of These Terrible Trump Songs Is The Least Terrible?

Culture

One thing that really gets under the skin of a lot of right-wingers is the fact that most artists tend to be pretty liberal and progressive. This is not necessarily because they have any great love of art themselves, but because they see it as a propaganda tool of which they are being unfairly deprived — possibly by nefarious means. At a panel at Politicon last year (which I saw for the first time yesterday), conservative "street artist" Sabo, in between racial slurs, offered a fantastic conspiracy theory about how this happens:

"Basically, you have a whole story, unfortunately, only half of it is being told. Because, for some strange ass reason, when some kid decides he wants to be a creative, they're pretty much pushed towards the left. And you know, they just wanna flip their parents off, they wanna flip authority off, 'cause they just left an existence where they were told what to do throughout their entire youth... AND THE LEFT IS RIGHT THERE TO GRAB 'EM.

And it's like they indoctrinate the shit out of them, and before you know it, 95, 98 percent of the arts lean left, and the indoctrination just gets worse and worse."

It's true. The very moment we find out a kid is going to be "a creative," we send an owl to their house with an invitation to come to a special school where they will learn the mysterious ways of our people and fight against strongman leaders dead set on banishing everyone who is not a pureblood.

But there are some out there looking to change all of that, for yesterday also saw the resurgence of a video from 2018 of two Trump supporters singing their little hearts out about how mighty he is.

Choice lyrics:

"President Trump is a mighty man, running this country the best that he can.
The media swarms and the networks lie but he doesn't flinch, he's a fearless guy.
Get out the way, Old Man Schumer, get out the way, Stubborn Nancy,
Get out the way all those haters, Trump's on a roll and it's gonna get greater."

If we are going to be honest here, it is a pretty catchy tune. We're gonna be singin' "Stubborn Nancy" all day long. [Editrix here: YOU ARE STUBBORN NANCY. YOU ALLLL ARE STUBBORN NANCY.] Can they sing? Not particularly! But, you know, they're, uh... trying?

Sadly for Republicans who love listening to songs about how mighty Donald Trump is, there really hasn't been much in the way of musical "entertainment" for the past year or so. With the notable exception of The Deplorable Choir, who just released this, uh, jam, a few weeks ago.


Real Women Vote Trump www.youtube.com

Choice lyrics:

"We don't care if you're girls
We don't care if you're dudes
We don't care if you're both
It's up to you [...]
Real women vote for Trump
We don't need no liberal chump
Real women vote for Trump"

Woody Guthrie, they're not. These ladies appear to be extremely confused about Donald Trump's policies concerning women and transgender people, and the lyrics here are about as compelling as a commercial jingle for an off-brand dish soap, but I have to admit that the one girl in the middle can sing. If she were not clearly a terrible human being and just stuck to singing covers of Fancy or something, I would totally buy her album.

Also in more recent offerings, we have Joy Villa's latest single. You know, that lady who shows up to awards shows in Trump-themed dresses? It's not specifically about how mighty Trump is. From what I can gather, it appears to be about how Gavin McInnes and Donald Trump Jr. are being censored and are also just like Martin Luther King and how we need Alex Jones, for freedom.

Freedom (Fight For It)- Joy Villa feat Flint Bedrock youtu.be

Choice lyrics:

"Well fake news is like a Game of Thrones
Infowars, we need Alex Jones
Conspiracy activities, exposing the toxicities
Who's the truth, you say"


While this offering certainly looks more polished (and we do like her outfits and hair), it is bad. It is so bad. It lacks the catchiness of the first song, and the musical talent of the second. If you want the truth, I did not even listen to it all the way through. It is a song that does not know what it's doing anymore than Donald Trump does. Also, Rebecca fired not just me for posting this song into our secret chatcave, but the entire staff by association. I feel very terrible about it.

This is not an easy contest! We've got a catchy song, a person who can actually sing, and, uh, some cute outfits. It surely is a wonder why the Right does not dominate the artistic world when they are producing gems such as these. Tell us your favorite (or share some others) in the comments!

[Twitter]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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