White House Staffers SHOCKED SHOCKED To Find Their Boss Is A Homicidal Maniac
Overnight, there was a spate of resignations from the Trump administration as staffers recoiled in horror at the carnage inflicted on Congress by the president's traitorous followers. After four years of chaos, and race-baiting, and destruction of the environment, and babies in cages, and "very fine people," and hundreds of thousands of Americans dead because masks make the crazy orange man feel like he has a small penis, these brave patriots are finally taking a stand. They can't take one more second of this, and they're handing in their keys now, a full 13 days before they'd be fired anyway.
It's better than nothing. But not but much.
Stephanie Grisham got the ball rolling last night, tendering her resignation as the First Lady's Chief of Staff. White House Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Matthews and Social Secretary Rickie Niceta followed soon after. Ladies first! Two members of the National Security Council, Matthew Pottinger and Ryan Tully, already noped out, and NSA Robert O'Brien is reportedly thinking super hard about it. Especially now that he had to cancel his farewell honeymoon tour.
John Costello, an intelligence official at the Commerce Department, stuck it out when his boss at the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, Chris Krebs, was shitcanned and dragged through the mud for having the nerve to say that this year's election was free of widespread fraud. But now Costello is hitting the road after the "unprecedented attack on the core of our democracy — incited by a sitting president."
There are rumors that Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao, aka Mrs. Mitch McConnell, is also eying the exit in light of yesterday's violent assault on her husband's workplace. [Edit: I'll be damned, she actually did it.] And just two hours after (Acting) Secretary of Homeland Security Chad Wolf issued a statement deploring "some supporters of the President using violence as a means to achieve political ends" and urging his boss to "condemn the violence," his Senate nomination for permanent status was abruptly yanked. But so far, no Cabinet member has taken the plunge. Go on, Munch, show 'em you're a real man after all!
Oh, we are silly the day after liveblogging a terrorist attack!
Then this morning Mick Mulvaney — formerly the president's (acting) chief of staff and Envoy to Northern Ireland — loudly flounced out, telling CNBC, "I called Mike Pompeo last night to let him know I was resigning from that. I can't do it. I can't stay."
"We didn't sign up for what you saw last night," Mulvaney told Squawk Box's Andrew Ross Sorkin. "We signed up for making America great again, we signed up for lower taxes and less regulation. The president has a long list of successes that we can be proud of."
Later he added that Trump was "not the same as he was eight months ago." Which is honestly the cherry on top of this shit sandwich. See, Trump was good and pure and kind for a long time. But now he's bad, so principled Mick Mulvaney must regretfully leave his position. A position from which he'd be fired in less than two weeks. So brave!
MSNBC's Stephanie Ruhle was not having it.
I just spoke with an investor who told me: “That statement is nonsense. His pitch was, 'I’ve got the inside track t… https://t.co/Fkhjc9lT5L— Stephanie Ruhle (@Stephanie Ruhle) 1610027111.0
Yes, AND! Because we are old enough to remember when Mick Mulvaney aided and abetted the withholding of congressionally allocated defense funds for Ukraine to help Donald Trump try to extort that country for dirt on Joe Biden.That was in his former incarnation as (acting) White House chief of staff, where he announced with a straight face that the G7 just had to be held at Trump's Doral resort in Florida, because it was simply the best location for it. Then he was kicked to the curb like a dog, as his boss would say, and shunted off to Northern Ireland, where he's apparently been using his official government position as a money-making opportunity. So he can miss us with that noise about Trump changing — he is what he always was. And what he always was is a psychopathic narcissist.
In summary and in conclusion, SLOW FUCKIN' CLAP for the people hopping off the Trump train before it comes to a full and complete stop. You really showed 'em what you're made of!
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.