Who Are Our Coronavirus Heroes This Week?
There's not much to do right now, other than sit at home and alternate between freaking out over the fact that we don't have enough tests, bingewatching television shows you never planned to watch, watching the Trump administration screw things up over and over again, and occasionally cheering for those in government who are at least trying to make shit better.
That being said, a lot of people who are not elected oofficials have been doing a lot of good (or at least entertaining) stuff this week to either help those who really need it or to help keep our minds off of things, so we figure we ought to salute them!
At one point in my life, I was not a big fan of Tom Hanks' son Chet Hanks, for reasons relating to a time when I worked at a fancy restaurant and thought he was kind of a dick. But that was many years ago! I can barely remember that now! Because ever since the coronavirus descended, I am all the way on Team Chet — first for the very nice and reassuring video messages about Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson being basically OK, and now for this very hilarious Instagram video mocking all of the QAnon idiots who believe that crazy girl who claims to have had repressed memories of having been Tom Hanks' sex slave.
"Hey guys, I'm really stressed out right now. It's been coming to my attention that a lot of Trump supporters have been figuring out the truth about me and my family, you know, being in the (gestures to illuminati tattoo of a triangle with an eye in it), you know what I'm talking about, and I don't know what to do right now because everything's starting to come to light.
I mean, these extremely reliable websites like 4chan, 8chan have been exposing shit and it's like, if somebody wrote it on the internet, you know it must be true, and it is true, so it's like I don't know how this is gonna affect our whole new world agenda.[…]
It's been troublesome to say the least. I guess I'm just gonna have to work extra hard at my human sacrifices. I'm late for one right now. And I'm a little hungry. So I might eat someone's pineal gland on the way.
But just know that we're watching you, and if you're talking shit on the internet, you're gonna be the first people sent to the FEMA camps"
And, of course, all the usual suspects are there in the comments, being all "Symbolism will be their downfall!" about things. Liz Crokin, of course, has been ON IT, claiming that he has issued an actual threat to Trump supporters, rather than just very obviously making fun of people who believe a stupid thing.
The Hickey Freeman Company
Hey! Remember yesterday, when I wrote up that thing about how hospitals need people to volunteer to sew masks and then EVER SO GENTLY noted that people could also be paid to sew masks? Well! Hickey Freeman, a menswear company from Rochester, NY is actually paying people to sew masks and possibly hospital gowns at home for use at Rochester General Hospital. Nice!
I have never, ever been a cute animal video person. That all changed this week though when I was so, so tired of hearing about and writing about freaking coronavirus, and to the rescue came several aquariums and zoos with some very good penguin content. You see, because there weren't people roaming around, a couple aquariums let the penguins hang out. And ugh, it was so good. THEY THINK THEY'RE PEOPLE!
The Two Oceans Aquarium in South Africa offered this very good video of a penguin going up stairs. Apparently this Aquarium is known for its quality penguins on stairs videos.
And also this video of a penguin hanging out in an office:
Then there was The Shedd Aquarium in Chicago ... which let penguins be tourists.
PENGUIN TOURISTS FOREVER!
Once we are done with this whole pandemic thing, I am so going to the aquarium to personally thank the penguins for being so great.
In California, a 15-year-old girl named Shavi Shah is going around handing out sanitation kits to homeless people in hopes of helping them keep safe during this dangerous time.
Shaivi Shah, 15, recruited her fellow Tesoro High School honor society members to assemble kits of hand sanitizer, antibacterial soap, lotion and reusable masks for distribution to help people experiencing homelessness in the middle of a pandemic."
They don't have necessities right now that are crucial to remain clean and stay germ-free," Shaivi told CNN.
Billy Porter is, obviously, always the best. He is also now, legally, the only celebrity allowed to do PSAs.
EVERYTHING HE DOES IS BEAUTIFUL AND CHARMING!
TV Medical Dramas
This is nice! TV shows like The Resident, Grey's Anatomy, Station 19, The Good Doctor and New Amsterdam have donated tons of the medical supplies they use on set — like N95 masks, gloves, gowns and more — to hospitals and fire stations near where they are filming. Yay!
The Celebrities Who Filmed That Godawful "Imagine" Video
HEAR ME OUT. While no one needs to hear a bunch of super rich celebrities asking them to "imagine no possessions), this video was so incredibly cringe-inducing that it really did end up achieving its goal of bringing everyone together as one for a moment. Except the reason it did that was because we were all, collectively, so deeply, deeply repulsed by it. I don't think I can ever look at Jamie Dornan's face again (which is unfortunate, as he is very pretty), but it was nice to be mad at a thing other than our screwed up and poorly prepared government for a minute.
Plus, I would not be surprised if it radicalized a few people here and there (in a good way). Seeing all of these celebrities who can afford to have their concierge doctors come bring them coronavirus tests while we still don't know if we're gonna be going broke from treating it will probably make a few people reconsider single payer.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse