Who Is This Crazy Hillary Hostage Taker Man?
So who is this hostage taker man up in New Hampshire? We know for sure that he's white and hates Hillary and loves violence, so that whittles the suspects down to about 175 million Americans. After the jump, a roundup of some of your -- yes, we mean you, commenters -- most appealing theories.
For the record, we think it's clearly Reese Mackenzy:
* "Where's St. Rudy?"
* "My money's on Gravel."
* "That wasn't a man. It's just the woman Bill's currently dating and 'the bomb' means she's pregnant. Catfight tonight on CNN."
* "Hannity! Put that fake bomb down and go to your room. Now!"
* "Anybody seen John Shea today?"
* "Wait until the fallout once everyone realizes the hostage-taker was planted by the Clinton camp."
* "Did he arrive by blimp?"
* "It's that old gay soldier, I just know it."
* "Wait, nobody's suggested Mitt Romney yet?"
* "Anybody seen Kathleen Willey lately?"
* "Huma better get a copy of Samuel L. Jackson's 'The Negotiator'."
* "FOX News crawler: Did Hillary's triangulation pave the way for bomber?"
* "I'm sure the Rochester P.D. has a pair of black-white buddy detectives, one of whom was just about to retire today."
* "I can't believe no one has pegged WALNUTS! for this one. Wasn't our first clue the fact that he was willing to admit he doesn't own a gun at Wed's YouTube debate?"
And to PureWhiteTrash: You have officially been warned.