Who Needs Dr. Fauci When You Have Dr. Diamond And Dr. Silk?

Gather 'round, don a lab coat and hold your favorite Bunsen burner tight, it's time for #CoronaChat with known science experts Diamond and Silk!

Did you learn some science in that video of Diamond and Silk? Good!

In case you cannot watch it, the information they imparted was very #publichealth. Silk said that "my president" Donald Trump wanted to open the country up by Easter. "I knew this was going to happen! He said this was going to happen!," exclaimed Diamond. "Instantaneously!" added Silk, without completing her thought. Silk told Diamond, "Now watch the numbers of deaths go up," so the media could hurt Donald Trump, by reporting a lot of new coronavirus deaths. "And! And! And!" added Silk, America is now number one for coronavirus cases! QED!

Clearly, they are just wondering if all of these deaths are a fake news scam, to destroy Trump.

Like we said, science.

So Diamond and also Silk have a new conspiracy theory, and it is that maybe people aren't even dying of the novel coronavirus. This goes with the new Fox News conspiracy theory that maybe people aren't even in the hospital with it, which also included elements of Diamond and Silk's conspiracy theory. In yesterday's Fox News clip, host Steve Hilton, who looks like what would happen if Carter Page ordered a sex doll of himself and gave it a British accent, was just asking questions about whether coronavirus death numbers in Italy and elsewhere were real, because "how do we know that all those people actually died of coronavirus" and not, as Hilton suggested, "hospital-acquired infections"?

A quick Google search confirmed for us that when COVID-19 is what leads to a person's death, even if it's not the direct cause, it's supposed to be included on the death certificate, along with any other conditions that might have contributed, like pneumonia, or a "hospital-acquired infection." Of course, America's testing is a fucking joke, so unless it's done posthumously, it just might not end up there if a person wasn't tested before death. (Medical experts say coronavirus deaths in America are being insanely under-reported.)

Oh yeah, and welcome to the wonderful funderful world of viruses, you goddamned morons. Are we going to pretend we remember nothing about the AIDS crisis? And how people who died of AIDS didn't actually die of AIDS, they often died of things that any person with a normal immune system would fight off, but because they had AIDS, they died of opportunistic infections or pneumonia or other ailments? Morons like those on Fox News and morons like Diamond and Silk are going to pretend they don't know that.

Clearly COVID and AIDS are very different diseases, but we do know that people with comorbidities (more than one condition present) are more likely to succumb to COVID. Just looking at the coronavirus liveblog in our city, we learn that a beloved pastor from a church near our house has died from "complications of COVID-19." And those complications obviously happened because he had COVID-19.

Anyway, we just typed like three paragraphs of easily Google-able science, which is far too much science for a Diamond and Silk post, because we can guarantee you they aren't thinking things through like this. They're just making up shit, because their paycheck requires them to perpetuate conspiracy theories about how everything is a Deep State plot to take down Trump.

Even people dying all over the country of a pandemic virus, the effects of which might have been mitigated if Diamond and Silk's shithole Dear Leader hadn't fucked it up so badly.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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