WHO THE F*CK IS SENDING BOMBS TO BARACK OBAMA AND HILLARY CLINTON AND CNN?
A day after we learned that a suspicious bomb-type package was sent to the house of liberal boogeyman George Soros, the news is reporting that suspicious bomb-type packages have now been sent to the Chappaqua, New York, home of Hillary Clinton, the DC offices of Barack Obama, and the Manhattan studio of CNN. Good morning, America!
So far, thank God, everybody is fine, and in the case of the packages addressed to Clinton and Obama, they didn't even get close to being delivered. (Despite what Drudge Report is still shilling, both Reuters and FOX NEWS report that NO suspicious packages have been sent to the White House.)
MSNBC is reporting that these devices are similar to what was sent to Soros.
The White House is "condemning" these attempted attacks, without any self-awareness of the fact that its own rhetoric almost certainly helped seed these acts. We are sure the Trump administration is just real upset right now that Democrats like Clinton and Obama are being targeted with political violence that is probably inspired by the way they constantly incite their paste-chomping supporters to violence.
Of course, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have Secret Service protection, which is why these packages were identified so quickly and they didn't actually get anywhere near their houses. We should not be surprised if there are more out there, and prominent Democrats need to be extra careful of what's coming in the mail. We are specifically thinking about other people Fox News and Donald Trump and all the GOP congressional candidates scream at 24/7, like for instance Nancy Pelosi.
Anyway, we don't know what the fuck is happening yet, but everybody needs to be paying attention right now. We have no idea what kind of unhinged loon is doing this, but their list of targets is pretty predictable so far.
Of course, wingnuts, always reflexively worried that one of their own committed the crime -- wonder why! -- are already rushing to call the packages false flag antifa attacks, because that's a thing. Meanwhile, Fox News had to interrupt coverage of Mitch McConnell getting yelled at in a restaurant in order to report on the mail bombs, so you can look forward to Fox's continuing coverage of how liberals are the real violent ones, because we won't let Mitch McConnell eat his chicken fingers in peace.
SIDENOTE: Because we always need to yell at the New York Times, we will yell at the New York Times now, because of how it originally and bizarrely concluded its article about the mail bombs with a fact-let about how the Clintons were only able to buy their house because Terry McAuliffe got them a loan. Why is this even remotely relevant? And if it is important, shouldn't NYT also ask if Hillary Clinton was home alone the whole night and if she happened to be sending emails at the time, and shouldn't it finish by mentioning that the Clintons failed to secure the proper kitchen renovation permits, which means their marble countertops are probably ILLEGAL?
(Actually, MSNBC reports that Hillz is in Florida right now and Bill was home in Chappaqua. WAS HE ALONE THE WHOLE NIGHT?)
Seriously, here is what the NYT originally had:
The copy has been changed, because we guess there's at least one editor somewhere in the New York Times building, but Jesus Christ.
Anyway, shit's fucked up, but everybody's OK so far and you should go vote today if you haven't yet.
UPDATE: Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz's Florida office has now been evacuated.
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