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A day after we learned that a suspicious bomb-type package was sent to the house of liberal boogeyman George Soros, the news is reporting that suspicious bomb-type packages have now been sent to the Chappaqua, New York, home of Hillary Clinton, the DC offices of Barack Obama, and the Manhattan studio of CNN. Good morning, America!

So far, thank God, everybody is fine, and in the case of the packages addressed to Clinton and Obama, they didn't even get close to being delivered. (Despite what Drudge Report is still shilling, both Reuters and FOX NEWS report that NO suspicious packages have been sent to the White House.)

MSNBC is reporting that these devices are similar to what was sent to Soros.


The White House is "condemning" these attempted attacks, without any self-awareness of the fact that its own rhetoric almost certainly helped seed these acts. We are sure the Trump administration is just real upset right now that Democrats like Clinton and Obama are being targeted with political violence that is probably inspired by the way they constantly incite their paste-chomping supporters to violence.

Of course, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have Secret Service protection, which is why these packages were identified so quickly and they didn't actually get anywhere near their houses. We should not be surprised if there are more out there, and prominent Democrats need to be extra careful of what's coming in the mail. We are specifically thinking about other people Fox News and Donald Trump and all the GOP congressional candidates scream at 24/7, like for instance Nancy Pelosi.

Anyway, we don't know what the fuck is happening yet, but everybody needs to be paying attention right now. We have no idea what kind of unhinged loon is doing this, but their list of targets is pretty predictable so far.

Of course, wingnuts, always reflexively worried that one of their own committed the crime -- wonder why! -- are already rushing to call the packages false flag antifa attacks, because that's a thing. Meanwhile, Fox News had to interrupt coverage of Mitch McConnell getting yelled at in a restaurant in order to report on the mail bombs, so you can look forward to Fox's continuing coverage of how liberals are the real violent ones, because we won't let Mitch McConnell eat his chicken fingers in peace.

SIDENOTE: Because we always need to yell at the New York Times, we will yell at the New York Times now, because of how it originally and bizarrely concluded its article about the mail bombs with a fact-let about how the Clintons were only able to buy their house because Terry McAuliffe got them a loan. Why is this even remotely relevant? And if it is important, shouldn't NYT also ask if Hillary Clinton was home alone the whole night and if she happened to be sending emails at the time, and shouldn't it finish by mentioning that the Clintons failed to secure the proper kitchen renovation permits, which means their marble countertops are probably ILLEGAL?

(Actually, MSNBC reports that Hillz is in Florida right now and Bill was home in Chappaqua. WAS HE ALONE THE WHOLE NIGHT?)

Seriously, here is what the NYT originally had:

The copy has been changed, because we guess there's at least one editor somewhere in the New York Times building, but Jesus Christ.

Anyway, shit's fucked up, but everybody's OK so far and you should go vote today if you haven't yet.

UPDATE: Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz's Florida office has now been evacuated.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Photo by Wonkette Operative 'Teecha'

If it's Sunday, this must be Nice Things, our weekly escape from the quotidian awfulness. Our featured doggo this week comes via a photo by Wonkette reader "Teecha," and we don't think Teecha mentioned a name for this lovely old rescue dog. If it is a dog at all: I think it may actually be one of Sia's more inventive disguises, like that time she was a little pony.

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The producers of your favorite live-action Jack Chick pamphlet, "God's Not Dead" -- you know, the one where the Hercules dude plays an evil philosophy professor who tells all of his students on the first day that they are no longer allowed to believe in god? As all secular professors do? -- have come out with a thrilling new movie, all about how abortion is bad or whatever.

The movie tells the "true" story of Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic worker turned professional anti-choicer. Johnson has been a darling of the forced birth circuit ever since she made up ridiculous and provably false reasons for quitting the Planned Parenthood that was about to fire her for being bad at her job.

Basically, she claims that Planned Parenthood was pushing her to make more abortions happen so they could reel in more dough, and also that she witnessed (for the first time ever!) an ultrasound-guided abortion and saw the baby move from the light and then immediately realized that what she was doing was wrong.

The thing is, however -- no ultrasound-guided abortions were performed on the day she said it happened, and the only reason there was an uptick in abortions at her clinic was because they started offering the abortion pill on a daily basis (and had previously only been performing surgical abortions every other Saturday).

As you may have guessed, the movie does not address any of these things. It also looks very, very bad.

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