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A day after we learned that a suspicious bomb-type package was sent to the house of liberal boogeyman George Soros, the news is reporting that suspicious bomb-type packages have now been sent to the Chappaqua, New York, home of Hillary Clinton, the DC offices of Barack Obama, and the Manhattan studio of CNN. Good morning, America!

So far, thank God, everybody is fine, and in the case of the packages addressed to Clinton and Obama, they didn't even get close to being delivered. (Despite what Drudge Report is still shilling, both Reuters and FOX NEWS report that NO suspicious packages have been sent to the White House.)

MSNBC is reporting that these devices are similar to what was sent to Soros.


The White House is "condemning" these attempted attacks, without any self-awareness of the fact that its own rhetoric almost certainly helped seed these acts. We are sure the Trump administration is just real upset right now that Democrats like Clinton and Obama are being targeted with political violence that is probably inspired by the way they constantly incite their paste-chomping supporters to violence.

Of course, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have Secret Service protection, which is why these packages were identified so quickly and they didn't actually get anywhere near their houses. We should not be surprised if there are more out there, and prominent Democrats need to be extra careful of what's coming in the mail. We are specifically thinking about other people Fox News and Donald Trump and all the GOP congressional candidates scream at 24/7, like for instance Nancy Pelosi.

Anyway, we don't know what the fuck is happening yet, but everybody needs to be paying attention right now. We have no idea what kind of unhinged loon is doing this, but their list of targets is pretty predictable so far.

Of course, wingnuts, always reflexively worried that one of their own committed the crime -- wonder why! -- are already rushing to call the packages false flag antifa attacks, because that's a thing. Meanwhile, Fox News had to interrupt coverage of Mitch McConnell getting yelled at in a restaurant in order to report on the mail bombs, so you can look forward to Fox's continuing coverage of how liberals are the real violent ones, because we won't let Mitch McConnell eat his chicken fingers in peace.

SIDENOTE: Because we always need to yell at the New York Times, we will yell at the New York Times now, because of how it originally and bizarrely concluded its article about the mail bombs with a fact-let about how the Clintons were only able to buy their house because Terry McAuliffe got them a loan. Why is this even remotely relevant? And if it is important, shouldn't NYT also ask if Hillary Clinton was home alone the whole night and if she happened to be sending emails at the time, and shouldn't it finish by mentioning that the Clintons failed to secure the proper kitchen renovation permits, which means their marble countertops are probably ILLEGAL?

(Actually, MSNBC reports that Hillz is in Florida right now and Bill was home in Chappaqua. WAS HE ALONE THE WHOLE NIGHT?)

Seriously, here is what the NYT originally had:

The copy has been changed, because we guess there's at least one editor somewhere in the New York Times building, but Jesus Christ.

Anyway, shit's fucked up, but everybody's OK so far and you should go vote today if you haven't yet.

UPDATE: Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz's Florida office has now been evacuated.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

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Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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