Who Wins Political Kid Halloween? 'Pierre Delecto,' Baby Unicorn, Or Baby Shark? (Duh, Babies ALWAYS Win)
It's time again for Halloween, that kids' holiday coopted by adults, which makes perfect sense since they have far more buying power. And so we bring you a brief collection of politicians' kids' costumes, or costumes of politicians, or just whatever, because it's the end of the day and we don't have to buy candy at all because in 14 years at this location no one has EVER trick-or-treated here. Apartments rule.
Mitt Romney is such a doofus, but his grandkids seem to have some fun! Check out this excellent "Pierre Delecto" get-up!
It's almost as good as this 2012 political dog costume we found online, the "revenge of Seamus":
But wait! There's More! Here's former South Carolina state Rep. Bakari Sellers's adorable twins Sadie and Stokely, and they win everything because we say so! You may notice that little Sadie, in the unicorn outfit, has an oxygen tube going to her nose; that is because she is recovering very nicely indeed from a liver transplant just last month, thanks to a very fine human being who donated a bit of their own liver to save Sadie's life.
Donald and Melon put candy bars on the "head" of a kid in a Minions outfit, and the candy bars slid off. Maybe the kid, who couldn't see what was going on, got a replacement. Maybe not. But the little girl who raced to catch the falling candy bars for herself is probably going to get an appointment to a federal job (god we are so mean).
For some reason, some people think Barack Obama did Halloween a lot better:
As far as we can tell, the only member of Congress to show up in costume was Katie Porter, who dressed as Batperson. The NRCC said it was unserious, but we say BatPeople pursue justice, or at least they did before Frank Miller made all comics grimdark forever. But that's another discussion.
The Library of Congress did Halloween, too. Outside, shhh.
As for costumes representing politicians, we hear British kids are dressing up as Boris Johnson, because weird and scary, and the Moonie Times has done the annual bitchfest about how no white kids get to be Indian Princesses anymore and there are literally no other costume options available.
We like this costume a lot:
Professional sled dog musher Blair Braverman (you should follow her!) dressed her dog Flame as Elizabeth Warren, and then Flame redistributed the treats.
We are kidding because we're sure Ms. Braverman already practices treat equity.
Also, a Wonkfan wanted to call attention to their friend's excellent costume:
But isn't it somehow wrong and unseemly to be dragging politics into this fun, frivolous holiday? Historians would like to remind you all that's not really new AT ALL:
And finally, thanks to NASA, we can congratulate the Space Shuttle astronauts who in 1998 used a couple of photographs of their crewmate John Glenn to make the laziest costumes ever to experience microgravity.
Low Earth Orbit, Low Effort! You high-tech guys lost to a couple of BABIES, how about that?
Happy Halloween, Wonkers, and stay the hell off my lawn. This is your OPEN
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.