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This weekend, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was politely asked to leave a restaurant in Virginia. Before that, Department of Homeland Security chief Kirstjen Nielsen -- fresh off of denying then excusing putting Mexican children in cages -- was shamed out of a Mexican restaurant. And Pam Bondi, the Florida AG, got her ass booed out of a screening of the Mr. Rogers documentary by a good citizen. Watch it, it was great!



Remember when Condi Rice got her ass shamed out of Ferragamo when she went shoeshopping during Katrina? Damn, that sounds like the exact same lady! (At least in our brains. The Condi-heckling woman was never Caught on Twitter Tape, for us to 'bate to.)

Well, the Washington punditry -- most recently seen DEMANDING JUSTICE for a joke about Shuckabee wearing eye shadow -- has had ENOUGH. They cannot believe the INCIVILITY of mean liberals doing actual murder by heckling people in public and refusing them service, a mere month after Sarah Huckabee Sanders herself invoked people's right to refuse service to gays.

And now Maxine Waters has pulled this car over and given them something to be outraged ABOUT!



"Let's make sure we show up wherever we have to show up," she urged. "If you see anybody from that cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station, you get out and you create a crowd and you push back on them and you tell them they're not welcome anymore, anywhere."
History is "not going to be kind to this administration," she said. "We want history to record that we stood up, that we pushed back, that we fought and that we did not consider ourselves victims of this president," she added.

Did you catch that part where she urged people to stick the administration's hand in a blender, just as she herself did to "journalist" Michael Tracey? No matter where you stand on the question of Punching Nazis, Waters did not call for violence, no matter how many times Ben Shapiro says so. She called for shame and heckling.

But David Axelrod, who has been getting more and more douche, is all het up.

And Meghan McCain, she is just IN A TIZZY.

Well, funny thing, Megs McCabe. A) Just last week, The Federalist -- a website founded and published by your husband, Ben Domenech -- printed this column, by a lunatic:

Close your eyes and imagine holding someone's scalp in your hands. I don't mean cradling his skull as you thousand-yard-stare at his lifeless face. I mean a real scalp, Indian-style, of some enemy you just killed on the battlefield; somebody you hated and who hated you back.

You killed him, won the day, carved off the top of his skull, and now you're standing over him victorious on the now-quiet field of battle, with a quiet breeze blowing through your hair. Your adrenaline is still pumping with that primal feeling of victory and the elation of having survived when others didn't.

But don't worry, he says, it's just a metaphor ... before ending hundreds of words later with

So, back to scalping thing. When you make that long trek to the reservation the leftists have set up for you—and make that trek you will—what memories do you want to take with you? When living in the liberal utopian nightmare of 57 genders and government control over everything in your life, you will want to have been a Lakota. You'll want to know, to remember, even just cherish the knowledge that, one day, you rode out onto the plains and made them feel pain.

My goodness, what a metaphor! But Pam Bondi got yelled at in public and Sarah Huckabee Sanders didn't get to eat her cheese plate, so that is basically the same thing.

It's funny all the calls for civility. Here, for instance, is the Washington Post op-ed board with an argument that we can't argue with!

How hard is it to imagine, for example, people who strongly believe that abortion is murder deciding that judges or other officials who protect abortion rights should not be able to live peaceably with their families?

Oh wait, we CAN argue with that! See, Bill O'Reilly went on a crusade against an abortion doctor, George Tiller, until someone murdered Tiller in his church! Also, a guy shot up a Planned Parenthood just a couple years ago, killing three! And you may remember that we have "clinic escorts," because the godly people who love the babies love them so much they do real bad threats to the women walking from their cars to their doctors' offices. That's even more uncivil than saying SHAME PAM BONDI, SHAME!

They have been doing this to us for decades. They've been firing us from our jobs because we have a Dem bumper sticker on our cars. They've been refusing service to us if we're gay or black. Me, personally? I've been chased on the freeway with my small son in the car by people who took offense at my John Kerry sticker, because John Kerry is a communist, and been threatened with rape and murder more times than I can even remember. And now they're taking people's babies at the border and putting them in cages, and we're doing the UNHEARD OF uncivil thing of yelling "boo" at them and not letting them eat our risotto and garlic scapes, and the outcry is so bad you'd think somebody complimented Sarah Huckabee Sanders on her makeup.

They always set a bar for liberals that no conservative ever has to jump. They've been doing it since the Clinton Rules started. When they go low, we go high? Sure, a lot of the time. But say Sarah Huckabee Sanders wants to come to our home. Do we have to let her? What if she wants to borrow our car? Do we have to give her that too? What if she wants our husband, or our kids? Well, we wouldn't want to be unneighborly.

Just give Sarah your husband. Why can't you just share? You liberals always talk talk talk about sharing, but as soon as someone wants to take your kids, it's all just MINE MINE MINE!

Maxine Waters, as she so often is, is right. Be the public shamer you want to see in the world.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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