Whom Did Hillary Clinton Threaten To Murder To Get Jerry Brown's Endorsement?

California Governor Jerry Brown

California's chief yeller-at-clouds, Jerry Brown, has endorsed Hillary Clinton a week ahead of the California primary. He probably didn't want to -- he and Bill Clinton hate each other from waaaaay back -- but if there is one thing everyone knows about Jerry Brown, it is that he is a total pussy who totally does stuff he does not want to do, and also is a bought and paid for corporate neoliberal one-percenter shill.

The Washington Post explains what a total scaredy-cat Jerry Brown is, and how he is endorsing Hillary Clinton even though he obviously doesn't want to, again because of his noted and long-standing pussydom that he is super well-known for, in its best journalism ever, "California Gov. Jerry Brown praises Sanders on his way to lukewarm endorsement of Clinton."

The Washington Post never links to Jerry Brown's endorsement of Hillary Clinton in its longish post about how much Jerry Brown wishes he could endorse Bernie Sanders but I guess he can't because Hillary Clinton will murder him or his stupid corgis. But the Washington Post doesn't need to link to Brown's endorsement, because it explains all his motives very clearly for you. Shut up and listen them!

California Gov. Jerry Brown issued a less-than-enthusiastic endorsement of Hillary Clinton on Tuesday, calling her the best chance to defeat what he said would be a disastrous victory by Donald Trump.

Brown waited until a week before his state’s June 7 Democratic primary, a vote that could embarrass Clinton on the day she is widely expected to clinch the presidential nomination.

It is obviously true that Jerry Brown could not have simply declined to endorse anyone, especially only a week before California's primary. It is also a science fact that Hillary Clinton, who leads most California polls by about 13 points, will probably be embarrassed.

Brown praised Clinton rival Bernie Sanders on his way to calling Clinton qualified and capable. Sanders is riding a late surge of support in the nation’s most diverse state and hopes a victory in California would strengthen his argument that he is the better and more deserving candidate.

Despite winning more pledged delegates overall and never trailing Sanders throughout the long primary fight, Clinton has failed to excite many of her party’s most liberal voters, and suffers a debilitating lack of support from young voters.

Fuck that bitch Hillary, with her "winning" and "never trailing."

On Tuesday, Brown gave an admiring nod to Sanders’s ability to make that message a central theme in the campaign.

“I have closely watched the primaries and am deeply impressed with how well Bernie Sanders has done. He has driven home the message that the top one percent has unfairly captured way too much of America’s wealth, leaving the majority of people far behind,” he wrote. “In 1992, I attempted a similar campaign.”

You mean Jerry Brown can like Bernie Sanders, dig his message, AND personally vote for Hillary Clinton instead? I do not even know what you are talking about.

Later, the Washington Post tagged this part of Jerry Brown's endorsement of Hillary Clinton onto the end of its story about Jerry Brown endorsing Hillary Clinton, which for several hours did not actually include any of the parts of Jerry Brown's endorsement of Hillary Clinton that actually endorsed Hillary Clinton:

He added: “For her part, Hillary Clinton has convincingly made the case that she knows how to get things done and has the tenacity and skill to advance the Democratic agenda. Voters have responded by giving her approximately 3 million more votes – and hundreds more delegates – than Sanders."

Oh, also the Washington Post originally had a thing in there about how even though Jerry Brown endorsed Hillary Clinton, he did not encourage other Democrats to follow his lead but it is gone now -- wait, it's still there? Seriously? It is!

“I have decided to cast my vote for Hillary Clinton because I believe this is the only path forward to win the presidency and stop the dangerous candidacy of Donald Trump,” Brown wrote in what he called an open letter to state Democrats. He spelled out his reasons, including Trump’s opposition to global agreements on climate change, but did not urge Democrats to follow his lead.

That's pretty stupid of Jerry Brown to endorse Hillary Clinton in an open letter encouraging Democrats to come together to vote for Hillary Clinton BUT THEN FAIL TO SAY "Hey Democrats, I encourage you to follow my lead."

Stupid Jerry Brown. First he lets Hillary Clinton threaten him into endorsing her, which he does in an open letter, but then he forgets to say "Radical Islamic Terrorism" or whatever today's secret password is.

No wonder the Democrats keep losing all the time, except for how they don't.

[WaPo / JerryBrown.org]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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