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Let's talk about Turkish people and Iranian-American people whose names you won't remember in five minutes, because you forgot them five minutes after last time we talked about them!

When we looked at Robert Mueller's sentencing memorandum on Michael Flynn, we noted that there was a lot of REDACTED BLACK INK that suggested Flynn was helping the feds with a whole lot besides just the Russia investigation. We surmised that at least one of the BIG BLACK REDACTED INK SECTIONS probably had something to do with all of Flynn's literal actual foreign agent work for Turkey, and it turns out we were right, because the DoJ has just indicted two of Flynn's former associates in the Eastern District of Virginia (EDVA).

Iranian-American businessguy Bijan Kian, who also goes as Bijan Rafiekian, co-founded and helped Flynn run his consulting firm Flynn Intel Group, and has been indicted for conspiracy, failure to register as a literal actual foreign agent, and also a bunch of lying. (To be fair, he was probably WITCH HUNTED like Michael Flynn was, because Flynn didn't know lying to federal agents is bad and therefore never told his friend.)


You'll remember that Flynn was hot 'n' heavy with the Turks during the campaign, going so far as to publish an op-ed in The Hill on election day, about how it was absolutely necessary that we kidnap this exiled cleric, Fethullah Gülen, who has been happily living in Pennsylvania for years, and send him back to Turkey so Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan could have him killed, as punishment for starting a coup against his government that Gülen says he actually did not start.

Flynn's other pal Kamil Ekim Alptekin, the Turkish man who directed the operation, was also named in the indictment, but he wasn't in court today like Kian was, because he lives in Not America (Turkey). Flynn and his boys were all working hard on their influence campaign to get Gülen sent back to Turkey for a good murderin', which everybody in US American law enforcement thought was kinda weird at the time.

"The arrow has left the bow!" Kian emailed Alptekin on Nov. 4, 2016, sharing a draft of an op-ed Flynn had written arguing that the United States should not provide a "safe haven" for Gulen. "This is a very high profile exposure one day before the election."

Flynn's op-ed was published in The Hill on Nov. 8, the day Trump was elected. It prompted concern in the Justice Department's national security division and criminal division, where officials wondered why Flynn, aspiring to be national security adviser to the next president, was parroting the talking points of the Turkish government.

Now, did Michael Flynn actually write that op-ed all by himself? Nah. It would appear that Kian (mostly) wrote it, and it was published under Flynn's name, we guess because he was really popular with the "Lock her up!" crowd at the time, and ain't nobody knew who the fuck Bijan Kian was. The op-ed was full of talking points about how Gülen is a bad, bad man, just like Ayatollah Khomeini, talking points that had been repeated since the inception of the project.

They had been working on their plan, originally dubbed the "Truth Campaign" and later rebranded as "Project Confidence," since late July of 2016, and they lied about ALL OF IT, KATIE. They lied about who was really paying them (Turkey, not just Alptekin's company like they insisted), they lied about why they were doing it, and they lied about why they were having all these top secret meetings in the months before the election, even though witnesses as esteemed as former CIA Director James Woolsey fuckin' heard the dudes talking about their plans.

This is the work Flynn did for which his company was paid $530,000, which he somehow forgot to mention in all his filings upon becoming national security adviser for one-and-a-half Scaramuccis. He woulda made a lot more if he had actually kidnapped Gülen, and he would probably be going to a lot more prison under that scenario, as well.

Read the entire indictment here if you'd like. Basically it's just about a buncha literal actual foreign agents, one of whose names is Michael Flynn, acting like a buncha literal actual foreign agents, and lying to the authorities about it repeatedly.

Again, it sucks how Michael Flynn didn't know that was bad. Somebody should tell him next time he and all his friends want to commit a metric shit-ton of crimes.

[Washington Post / indictment]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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