Why Are All These Gold Star Families Being So Mean To Poor Donald Trump?

2016 Presidential Election
Why Are All These Gold Star Families Being So Mean To Poor Donald Trump?

Everybody is being really mean to that nice Donald Trump, and Wonkette for one is not going to take it! All Mister Trump did is respond to criticism -- and is he not allowed to respond to criticism? did someone take his First Amendment away?? -- and everybody is acting like he is some petulant jerkbaby who should not even accuse his critics of being evil Muslims who won't let their brainwashed Muslim wives talk under their sharia clothes!

Here is some nutshell, for all of you who weren't leaving 2000 comments on yesterday's last post of the day while we were tired and also forced Dok Zoom to take the weekend off: This dude, Khizr Khan, went on the stage at the Democratic National Convention and said anger words to Donald Trump, just because his (Khizr's) son was a US Army captain killed rescuing his fellow American troops from a car bomb in Iraq. Khan acted like Donald Trump should not be attacking Muslims all the time and offered to read his Constitution to him. But Donald Trump is a man! He is a Type A man! A strong man! And he is not some turn the other cheek beta non-MRA pussy! You come at Donald Trump, you best expect some real gibberish in return!

So Donald Trump said, because Khan said "YOU HAVE SACRIFICED NOTHING," nuh uh yes he had, he had made lots of sacrifices by working very hard and creating "thousands and thousands" of (unpaid) jobs. And then he said how come Khizr Khan's wife didn't say anything at the convention, "people" are just wondering, maybe she is not allowed to speak at all, because a hijab is magic, like Mormon underwear, but its magic is taking away the wearer's tongue like in The Little Mermaid. (No links coming atcha, because Mama's laptop is not so much "working" with the trackpad etc., which she found out as she was trying to wire money to herself to get a cashier's check for a down payment to buy a house like a common real estate mogul -- she has money for a down payment because she is so old, she worked in newspapers when they came with 401k's, wow, right??? -- and two and a half weeks late, the mortgage company finally sent the documents but then did not send the actual money, and the mean old man she was buying the house from would not let her move her stuff into the house even though the mortgage company said the money would come Monday, tomorrow, and she had actually already moved all her stuff into the house anyway, and then had to move it all out again after he said that, before he drove out from Billings to make sure she had not actually moved all her stuff in, which she had, and now she is living in the Wonkebago, and all her stuff is in that mean old man's garage, which she did have permission for, and if the money doesn't come through tomorrow, she will have to get another UHaul and take it all out again to SOMEWHERE, and isn't that FUN, and won't tomorrow be AWESOME??? But we were talking about Donald Trump.)

And then EVERYONE (except Paul Ryan) was like ... dude. There have been updates, like the Khans responding by calling him a "black soul" and Donald Trump responding AGAIN but this time remembering to say there is no sacrifice like a Gold Star family's sacrifice before going "BUT WHAT AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO CRITICISM, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!" and as someone who picks a lot of Twitter fights, I have to say I actually feel for that one.

“Captain Humayun Khan was a hero to our country and we should honor all who have made the ultimate sacrifice to keep our country safe. The real problem here are the radical Islamic terrorists who killed him, and the efforts of these radicals to enter our country to do us further harm. Given the state of the world today, we have to know everything about those looking to enter our country, and given the state of chaos in some of these countries, that is impossible. While I feel deeply for the loss of his son, Mr. Khan who has never met me, has no right to stand in front of millions of people and claim I have never read the Constitution, (which is false) and say many other inaccurate things. If I become President, I will make America safe again.

In conclusion, who had a worse Saturday, Donald Trump or your editrix? I am going to go with "Donald Trump," because I am only a miserable person temporarily, and he has to live his whole life like that.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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