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Why Bush Only Gave the Second Most/Least Believable Speech at the NAACP Convention

dick%20gregory.gif"We live in a system so insane," says comedian/monologuist/diet visionary Dick Gregory, tearing it up at the NAACP's 97th annual convention, "that once you get into a position to determine public policy, they will kill you.


"Malt liquor is made in white beer companies but only sold in black neighborhoods, and you don't get suspicious?" continues the 73-year-old breathatarian. "They put a thing in it called manganese and once you get so much manganese in you you will kill your mama, but they got you believing that's [normal for you to act that way]."

More Gregory at Hit & Run.

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Fellow Wonkers, this last week of horror has been wearing on us all, because here we are in a world where the "president" of the United States has ordered that migrant children be taken away from their parents at the border, and is simultaneously proud of it (for his base) and cravenly blaming it on Democrats because even he knows it's morally reprehensible. But what the hell can we do about it, we are all keening, beyond calling our senators and representatives and posting sadness on Twitter, the latter of which is of dubious utility to anyone, and mostly depressing?

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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