Why Does Everyone Try To Make Poor Ted Cruz Look Bad By Not Being Ted Cruz?

Culture Wars

Senator Ted Cruz skipped out on his freezing Texas constituents and hopped a plane to Cancun, where no one wanted him, either. He returned with his tail between his legs and blamed his own daughters for his grossness. This was just a month or so after he tried to overturn the results of a free and fair election. It's been a jam-packed season on the Ted Cruz Sucks Show.

Texans somehow re-elected Cruz when they could have traded him in for Beto O'Rourke. Heidi Cruz probably would've taken that deal if offered it directly. But O'Rourke, now a private citizen, has done more for Texas in a time of crisis than Cruz.

Shoulda Been Senator O'Rourke ran a “virtual phone bank" with volunteers, all of whom worth several damns more than Cruz, who contacted senior citizens throughout the state. He connected them with warming centers and food banks.

"BIG THANKS to the volunteers who made over 784,000 phone calls to senior citizens in Texas today," he tweeted. "You helped to connect them with water, food, transportation, and shelter. And you made sure that they knew we were thinking about them and that they matter to us."

House Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez even got involved like the meddlesome socialist she is. Cruz's reckless rhetoric endangered her life, but she doesn't hold a grudge against Texans. She helped raised $4 million for struggling people. She volunteered at a Houston food bank Saturday with Reps. Sheila Jackson Lee, Sylvia Garcia, and Al Green — no, not the singer, but I'm still so in love with AOC. Whatever she wants to do is all right with me.


But it's not all right with journalist Sameera Khan, who accused Ocasio-Cortez and O'Rourke of ulterior motives. Khan tweeted, “ AOC and Beto are only helping Texas to make Ted Cruz look bad. It's pretty obvious." That's true. It's also pretty obvious that Khan's soul is dark and frigid, like most of Texas was last week.

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People are rarely kind out of pettiness. Those sorts of complex Xanatos Gambits occur primarily in fiction. But if someone does want to humiliate others through acts of generosity, I'm all for it. There are several charitable causes I've wanted to patronize but went wine tasting instead. Feel free to make me look like the garbage I am.

Also, we're talking about Ted Cruz. You don't need to raise millions of dollars to make him look like a weasel. God beat you to it. The guy's spent his entire career cosplaying Frank Burns from M*A*S*H. Cruz smeared California when the state was literally on fire last year. He knocked the Democratic government but didn't lend a hand to help the residents there, who last we checked were Americans. He could've flown out to California and “shamed" Kamala Harris by helping people, but instead he tweeted smug digs at the expense of suffering people.

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Khan couldn't comprehend that Ocasio-Cortez would see Texans in pain and feel moved to help, and she mocked anyone who lacked her savvy cynicism: “How dare you suggest that AOC's efforts to raise money for a state neglected by her almost-murderer were motivated by political calculations, not her purely benevolent nature and oh-so-sweet soul. Follow the yellow brick road."

This is classic supervillain psychosis: Lex Luthor believes Superman's an egomaniac whose seemingly selfless exploits are just his sick way of making mere mortals, especially Luthor, feel bad about themselves.

That's a very sad headspace, and I won't live there. The same goes for anyone suggesting that all Texans deserve to sleep in tauntauns because a voter-suppressed majority supported idiot candidates. Ocasio-Cortez and O'Rourke offer a more inspiring model. Once this is all over, Texans collectively will probably still care more about guns and fossil fuels, but that's not the point. When you see people struggling, you help. And yes, I'm going to leave you with these words from Peter Capaldi's Doctor:

Winning? Is that what you think it's about? I'm not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because, because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun and God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. I do what I do, because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind. It's just that. Just kind. If I run away today, good people will die. If I stand and fight, some of them might live. Maybe not many, maybe not for long. Hey, you know, maybe there's no point in any of this at all, but it's the best I can do, so I'm going to do it. And I will stand here doing it till it kills me. You're going to die too, some day. How will that be? Have you thought about it? What would you die for? Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand, is where I fall. Stand with me. These people are terrified. Maybe we can help, a little. Why not, just at the end, just be kind?

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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