Alaskan Republicans are all so corrupt and stupid, when we saw the big "McCain Tells Alaskan To Fuck Off" headlines, for a fleeting happy moment we thought he fired Sarah Palin -- even though, in our hearts, we knew it was about Palin's creepy old boyfriend and convicted felon criminal, Ted Stevens, the other Republican from Alaska. So Palin won't be thrown under the Straight Talk Express until after the election. Then she can get a show on the NASCAR channel where she just shoots out new brothers for Trig every five or six months, forever, demurely covered by a Confederate Flag. [Christian Science Monitor]