Why Today's U.S. Vs Germany Soccer Match Is Hitler's (And Ann Coulter's!) Worst Nightmare


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Today's match is Hitler's nightmare scenario: a US team with a German national hero as a coach plus a bunch of international players with dual citizenship, including five guys with German moms and African-American service member dads. It is also master troll Ann Coulter's nightmare scenario because she hates soccer, and immigrants, and fun. They are both so sad today, probably, in Hell/wherever Ann Coulter lives.

Hitler would obviously hate today's game for so very many reasons: the diversity, the intercultural nature of the United States team (players with dual citizenship from Mexico, Iceland, Norway, England, France, the Netherlands and, yes, Germany). There's also the fact that the American coach is a Germany national hero, the very handsome (every soccer player is very handsome, probably) Jürgen Klinsmann. And that midfielder Kyle Beckerman is Jewish.

Hitler would also hate the fact ... READ MORE AT HAPPY


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