Why You Should Always Eat Those Weird Strings On Your Bananas! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 28, 2021

Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Shit wouldn't melt in their mouths. The 45 Republicans who are very definitely not "angry, unhinged partisans," that's the Democrats who think there should be consequences when you sic a ravening mob on Congress. (Politico)

Dems should give up the myth of fingerprints bipartisanship. — Amanda Marcotte at Salon

Sounds like the (acting) Capitol Police chief's testimony to Congress about what they did to prepare for the Capitol Riot (nothing) was a clusterfuck. (CNN) Capitol Police union, with 140 members injured, are piiiiiissed. (Roll Call)

Fred Guttenberg, whose daughter Jamie was murdered at Parkland, does not care for the recently revealed video of Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene stalking David Hogg like a fucking asshole, demanding to know where he gets off calling for "red flag laws," which allow the police to confiscate weapons from people who are a danger to themselves or others. I am shaking.

"He [David Hogg] had 30 appointments where he went around and got to talk to senators. I got to talk to none," Greene said, adding "Guess what? I'm a gun owner. I'm an American citizen. And I have nothing. But this guy with his George Soros funding and his major liberal funding has got everything."

Yes, everything except 17 of his friends who are no longer alive. What a victim piece of shit she is. (Politico)

A man was arrested this week for threatening to shoot up an elementary school in Polson, Montana. Oh, nothing, Marjorie Taylor Greene, nothing at all.

Rep. Jimmy Gomez would like Greene expelled please. — Resolution

Harry Reid thinks we should take this filibuster and shove it. (MSNBC)

Okay, which of you communists took over the US Chamber of Commerce?

President Joe Biden is launching his sweeping assault on climate change with a much larger army of allies than Barack Obama had 12 years ago — a coalition that ranges from labor unions, anti-fracking activists and racial justice advocates to leaders of Wall Street, the auto industry and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.


Investments are pouring in to renewables too. I tried to find a green retirement fund to invest our little tuppence in last year and was told we didn't have enough money to ensure they'd "be able to give us the attention [we] deserved." So fucking annoying. We don't need "attention," we need you to take like a thousand dollars a year — hey maybe TWO thousand! — and put it in "I don't know, probably batteries." (Washington Post)

The Gamestop ... thingie. — Alexis Goldstein at Markets Weekly

James Bennet, whoo, boy, I don't know. — Jennifer Barnett Left Her Career in Prestige Media Because of the Shitty Men in Charge and They Are Still in Charge and Still Fucking Up (Medium)

Related! Why Mona Eltahawy says fuck. — Feminist Giant

Watch out, LA Times readers, Dean Baquet's coming up on the NYT's mandatory retirement age of 65, and he just bought a house in Hancock Park. (OK Magazine, which thinks $2.1 million is "whopping" for a house in Larchmont/Hancock Park; I would have to assume for $2.1 million, it's a two-room basement. It also thinks Baquet would be the LA Times's first Black editor, which is weird because he already was.)

David Folkenflik talked to 60 people at VOA during Michael Pack's misbegotten tenure. I bet he really did think he was rooting out "bias." You know, like Torquemada rooted out sin. — NPR

A list of all the top media jobs that are open right now, is Wonkette on it? IT IS NOT, I BOUGHT THIS JOB FAIR AND SQUARE. (Axios)

I'm tired. Goodbye.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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