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Why You Should Not Mess With Drunk Lithuanian Engineers In Their Underpants

News
  • Thai anti-government protesters are continuing with their extremely unsanitary practice of pouring their own blood on things, in public. [Bloomberg]
  • President Obama will pull a "Nixon visits China" over at Fox News, which means that in just two short years we can expect him to resign from office in shame for completely unrelated reasons. [New York Times]
  • Conan O'Brien, the beloved comedian who nobody ever watched until they cancelled his show, may soon have another show for nobody to watch. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Michelle Obama has asked makers of various delicious salty mystery snacks to please make their products more "healthy," which is like asking Rumpelstiltskin to turn a pile of gold back into hay because it has fiber. [Washington Post]
  • Your Horrifying Environmental Disaster of the Week is brought to you by Fiji. [BBC]
  • This happened in Scotland, obviously: "Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way." [BBC News]
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