WikiLeaks: 'Making Socialism Easier To Swallow' To Win Obama 2nd Term
Per the latest batch of WikiLeaks, a cable from Caracas, Venezuela was sent to Washington in January entitled"Making Socialism Easier to Swallow." WHY WAS THIS SENT? OUR TAX DOLLARS ARE BEING SPENT STUDYING SOCIALISM TO PICK UP TIPS ON HOW TO DO IT. Obviously, as this was sent to Hillary Clinton, or "RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC 0292," it's part of a secret flow of information to the committee to re-elect Barack Obama. It has seemed so obvious to all of America, which hates socialism and its evil methods of taking away everyone's Medicare, that Obama will be repudiated in 2012 for sentencing our dear philosopher, Capitalism, to drink hemlock. But what if he has discovered a method in the jungles of South (Fake) America to make voters like socialism? This proves Obama is morally weak.
¶2. (U) President Chavez opened the "Arepera Socialista" with much fanfare on December 22, advertising its low price and high quality as symbolic of the benefits of his socialist revolution. (Note:
"Arepas" are a Venezualan-style thick cornmeal tortilla usually
used for a type of sandwich. End Note.) The restaurant, located
in a lower middle class neighborhood of Caracas, serves "arepas"
for about a fourth of their regular price. It is currently only
open during weekday mornings, although there are plans to extend
its hours, add coffee and fresh juice to its menu, and open two new
locations in working class neighborhoods.
¶3. (SBU) On a January 8 visit, EmbOffs witnessed a long line of
people waiting to get into the restaurant but surprisingly rapid
service. Inside, one wall was dominated by a quote in large red
lettering from Simon Bolivar: "The best system of government is
that which produces the greatest happiness." An employee managing
the line said the restaurant served 1,200 customers per day. One
man in line said he worked in the neighborhood and came every day
since the food was excellent and cheap.
All of the ingredients, down to the juice boxes, are made by government-owned companies. This is a vicious crime against humanity and Capri Sun, the rightful capitalist victor over all boxed-juicedom.
Comment: Let Them Eat Arepas
Never! We must stop this secret socialist study now. LET EVERYBODY IN YOUR TOWN KNOW OBAMA WILL TRY TO OPEN A CHEAP AREPA JOINT ACROSS FROM THE MINI MALL BETWEEN THE SONIC AND THE APPLEBEE'S. There will be no traditional restaurant manners in these places. Only Sharia law. [WikiLeaks]